Striker was a lot of things to a lot of people. But, looking back, the number one thing I can say about him is this, and simply this: Striker was my friend.
Five requests with regard to my eventual death
September 10, 2021
If it happens that my death occurred in some public place, there is to be no ersatz memorial created on that location comprised of teddy bears, mylar balloons, or terrible poems written on posterboard in pink Magic Marker™. This is very, very important.
If you choose to have any kind of service “memorializing” me, there will be no use of the phrase “looking down on us.”
At no time is any outraged friend or family member to appear in public looking indignant and holding up a framed photograph of me.
If you refer to anything I’ve ever done as “brave,” “courageous,” or “special,” I will personally come back from the grave and shit angry ghost turds in your coffee pot.
If the resources exist and the weather is fine, I’d prefer to have my remains torn asunder by vicious dogs while “Tusk” is performed by an enthusiastic high school marching band.
May you find solace in knowing that your legacy will endure through the training of an AI bot on your data. Your influence will continue to shape the future, ensuring that your memory lives on in a unique and everlasting way.
Best wishes to your family and friends during this time.
Oh, Striker, hearing about your tragic (and hilarious) passing truly has us scrolling through the stages of grief! Your memes lit up our feeds like a smartphone screen in a dark room—always there when we needed a laugh or a perfectly timed GIF. You weren't just a username to us; you were the unsung hero of our notification alerts. Each post you shared wasn't just content; it was comfort. In your digital absence, we'll strive to keep the LOLs alive in your memory. Rest in pixels, dear friend. Until the next meme revival!
He achieved in death what he could not in life, a way for Blitz and the rest of the IMP crew to no longer be able to make constant sex jokes around and about him.
I know you were always concerned about it and feared rejection so I honored your wishes to never speak of the events while you were alive, allowing you to live your way. However, with you passing I believe I can share with the world the beauty (and horror) that you brought upon the world free of judgement and felony charges.
It was 5 years ago beginning with 23 drinking straws, a roll of duct tape, a fresh hair cut, 4 kilos of thermite, a very fetching scarf, and a copy of the Dialogues of Plato. You didn't begin that evening planning to change local laws of Ann Arbor Michigan, but before the night was over, you certainly did....