Memories that cost you sanity points every time they resurface.

I remember Donald trump going to a McDonalds in east Palestine, Ohio and announcing that he'd buy a big macs for everyone in the McDonalds to applause, then buying a big Mac for himself and no one else and leaving

I remember Ruth Bader Ginsburg officiating the wedding of two major DNC donors who basically hit the "you donated X amount so you can force a Supreme Court Justice to sing and dance for you" threshold.

They wanted to show the whole world how special they were, having The Notorious RBG officiate their wedding. That's how official a wedding it was.

And then she contracted a virus at the wedding and died of it.

I remember Katie Couric quietly admitting she had to cut out a lot of her interview with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, because RBG was being shockingly racist and Katie "didn't want to tarnish the idea of her."

I remember Kevin Spacey getting fired from House of Cards after getting outed as a rapist, and then he released a video of him, in character as Frank Underwood, vaguely threatening the House of Windsor if his demands weren't met.

I remember thinking it was the most "only happens in Bojack Horseman" level of crazy I've ever seen in an actor.

And then Jeffrey Epstein was killed.

And then all of Kevin Spacey's accusers were killed.

I remember Rachael Maddow insisting in no uncertain terms that Trump was America's Hitler, and then she wished him a speedy recovery when he caught Covid.

I remember Michelle Obama and George W Bush being close buddies at John McCain's funeral, giving each other candies and hugging each other fondly. "Oh yes," says Michelle, "I'm his partner in crime." Her husband ran his first presidential campaign promising to charge Bush with war crimes.

I remember Kamala Harris making an impassioned argument that Bidens history of racism and support of segregationists made him unfit to be president. I also remember when she later pivoted to support him she said that it was just a debate.

I remember Ghislaine Maxwell going missing after a warrant was put out for her, and then a photo of her at an In-n-Out was posted on Twitter, where she's holding a book called "The Secret Lives and Deaths of CIA Operatives". The same day, the entire nationwide system that monitors flight risks for air travel was down - the system that would have flagged Ghislaine as having a warrant out for her arrest, the same system that her twin sisters own and contract to the US government...

I spent so long assuming she either fled the country or would turn up in an oil drum somewhere. But it turns out she was just laying low at some friend's fishing retreat in Maine.

I remember the biggest mass shooting that's ever happened in the US, the Vegas shooting, having a baffling number of suspicious details ... the Saudi prince, the shooter's private plane having once been owned by the CIA, the reports of gunfire on the tarmac as if the shooter (or someone) was trying to stop someone from leaving by plane, the really inconsistent reports from the Vegas Police and the hotel security guards ... and then one of the security guards was brought onto Ellen, where they had a full sized 3D replica of the hotel floor so they could walk through the official story one more time for the audience, and Ellen was really insistent on clarifying the official story that definitely proves it was just one guy and nothing nefarious happened in a casino with Ellen-brand slot machines.

That security guard moved to Mexico shortly after that Ellen episode was filmed.

That whole event got memory holed so fast...

I remember Sean Spicer literally hiding behind some shrubs to avoid taking questions from the press, even though they were only asking questions like "Isn't the President using the Lincoln Ballroom for a Daughters of the Confederacy reunion a bit uncouth???"

I remember Scaramucci missing the birth of his first-born child so he could take an unpaid internship at the White House, which he'd be fired from a week later.

I remember the 9/11 episode of Well There's Your Problem where Ruth Bader Ginsburg died in the middle of their mid-recording break, and when Justin is the last one to hear the news he just starts cackling maniacally, like actual instant jokerfication in real time. Still my favorite episode.

I remember Elizabeth Warren taking Trump up on his challenge to take a 23-And-Me test, to prove whether or not she was part Native American as she had been insisting for decades. The test results showed she actually had less of the blood quanta that signifies North American indigenous ancestors than the average population would in general.

She has a published cookbook called "Pow Wow Chow."

I remember Hillary Clinton pulling out a tiny bottle of hot sauce from her purse to prove her street cred.

They didn't get it on video, but there is photos of this:

Pete Butt tried to do a photo op with Al Sharpton. Pete's team picked the most stereotypical black soul food restaurant they could find. They sit down and Pete orders fried chicken, collared greens, and mac. Al ordered tea and toast.

I remember Hillary Clinton being so enraged after the election was called that she refused to come out and speak to her $50,000-a-pop victory party attendees, and had Rob Emmanuel come out to say she's very sad and angry and can't talk right now.

I think it's safe to assume she was literally vomiting with rage.

I remember everyone in Hawaii being told they were about to be nuked.

I remember Stephen Colbert on election night 2016, after it was called, and he's basically consoling his audience that the nightmare times are upon us but everything is going to fine because America always prevails, and then he gets his mortified band leader to play My Country Tis Of Thee as they fade to commercial.

I remember Hillary Clinton's campaign website having more to say about Pepe the Frog than healthcare.

I remember Samantha Bee pretending to be super horny for Robert Mueller and singing a horrible burlesque number about him locking up Trump while kind of swinging around a stripper pole.

Reading the comments in the voice of

I remember when during a campaign event Yang sprayed whipped cream into the open mouths of kneeling supporters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3UfIPyRlrE

Remember that time Hillary Clinton deleted all her communications during an investigation of her, and this was judged acceptable because the judge ruled that as an old she can't be expected to know how technology works, and all the libs turned "But her enails" into a meme in response?

This whole thraed is the stuff of nightmares

I remember thousands and thousands of libs unironically believing that Alec Baldwin playing Trump on SNL would get him to resign, hand himself into prison, and apologize to Hillary on the way.

The Mayor Pete High High Hopes Dancers, with a giant cardboard cutout of Pete's face.

Here's one from TERF island.

During the rollout of COVID furlough, the BBC decided to run a propaganda piece for the Tories that depicted then Chancellor of the Exchequer (and soon to be deposed Prime minister) Rishi Sunak as Superman.

liberalism

And RBGs personal trainer doing pushups next to her coffin. But that one was just extremely funny

SNL has become the thing SNL was created to make fun of

I remember the Biden 2020 campaign offices in California were chained closed a week before super Tuesday. I remember Biden not winning a single county in Nevada, but still taking 25% of the state's delegates. I remember "Iowa you have shocked the nation" and a full day of news pretending Mayonnaise Peter didn't lose to Bernie.

The cold opening where Kate McKinnon dressed up as Hillary and sung Hallelujah was worse.

BIG 👏 STRUCTURAL 👏 BAILEY 👏

All of these memories are like I got hit in the head with a hammer but then everyone else had the same brain injury hallucinations as me

This is like something we would make up to make fun of liberals with

Taking a knee for George Floyd liberalism

I remember Four Seasons Total Landscaping, and Giuliani (is he dead yet? I forget) dripping some kind of black oil from his head

Remember that time Hillary did a whole press event where she came out with a big fucking novelty button that was supposed to symbolize resetting relations with Russia?

THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG

Remember that time the amazing sexual prowess of Beta O'Dork (a man who was running a senate campaign in Twxas based on banning guns and pretending to be Latino) was a topic of discussion for twitter libs.

This is still great. Stephen Colbert's audience cheered for James Comey's firing because they all associated him with harming Hillary's campaign, but Colbert was literally using that exact monologue to tell his liberal audience to view Comey as some kind of patriot resistor within the Trump white house who was being fired unfairly.

I remember the anti trump Joe Biden + Squad cancan dance in the simpsons

It was like a week ago but Skibidi Biden definitely goes up here with the greats

MEEEEMMMOOOORRRIIIEEESSS

AAAALLLLL AALLLLOOOOONNNNEEE IN THE MOOOOOOONLIIIIIIIGGGGHHTTT

trump-anguish

john-agony

Remember the travelling Trump Baby balloon?

All this "I remember" reminds me a lot of the "what I heard about Iraq" Eliot Weinberger poem that starts every line with 'I heard that' followed by a contradictory statement about Iraq.