is there a way to talk this out or is this a red flag…

i’m bi. so is my gf katya.

however, katya is also a HUGE right-wing Trump supporter. she literally follows him on every single account and says stuff like “no one cares abt lgbt rights” which is an odd thing to say as a bi person.

Katya is also very nice to me and very much in love with me, though, despite our differing opinions, and I know she’d be offended if I questioned them.

23 comments

If Katya is actually a huge Trump supporter they DO NOT love you.
- exactly. Very weird that she follows trump's accs on everything and doesn't care abt homophobia. are you sure she's not straight and dating you bc "i'm not homophobic, i'm dating my own gender!"/has internalized homophobia?
  
  idk, she is either bi with male preference or what u said
- How do you possibly feel comfortable giving life changing advice based on what an anonymous person says in a short paragraph? You will literally never see them in your life, know nothing about them. You literally only care about punishing their partner (and them) because they dare to like a politician that you don't, regardless of what their reasons even are. People like you are why the internet is a terrible place. An utter lack of empathy and understanding, caring only about you and your personal politics. Op should know better than to ask for advice from anonymous strangers, and shame on you for being the reason why.
  
  How do you possibly feel comfortable giving life changing advice based on what an anonymous person says in a short paragraph?
  I didn't give them any advice on how to proceed.
  You will literally never see them in your life, know nothing about them.
  It's that part. The anonymous, never seeing them part, gives us comfort. You knew the answer your own self but good work being self righteous.
  An utter lack of empathy and understanding, caring only about you and your personal politics.
  Correct. Their partner doesn't care about others or their personal politics.
  I have made my peace with the paradox of tolerance and will provide none to anyone who mentions approval of Trump or right wing policies. Their rhetoric is not "politics". If that means you think I only care about myself that's fine, I don't particularly care what anonymous people on the Internet who I will never see think. See what I did there?
  
  fair
  
  I think their point was mostly that if someone you love advocates for your harm, they don't love you (implied: at least not in a healthy way)
  Personally I think love can be deeply unhealthy, toxic, and messy and still be love, but I do understand the point they're making.

LGBTQ people who support Trump must have a reason. IMO that reason probably boils down to a lack of empathy and/or lack of critical thinking skills.
So now the question for you is: do you want to be in a long term relationship with somebody lacking one or both of those things?
You're unlikely to change her, the only person you can control is yourself.
- TYSMMM

I wouldn't be able to date someone that voted let alone worships him personally.

Being a Trump supporter in any relationship with a non-Trump supporter is a giant red flag. Gay, straight, bi, or otherwise.
The only way it works is if it's two Trump supporters, and even then they'll figure out ways to purity test each other.
- i find it odd that she doesn't care about discrimination against her own group...
  (this is just an example, i wouldn't do this) she's a black woman. what if i said no one cares about their issues?? Exactly

Does Katya perhaps have internalized homophobia? "I know I'm bi, and I'm trying to accept that, but it also feels wrong".
- why would a trump supporter be madly in love with you, a member of the lgbt? Plus, 🚩 if she gets mad bc you ask questions

When Katya says "nobody cares about lgbt rights" she's signalling that she doesn't care about them.
It's your decision how you want to carry on, but be aware of that.
- This is a great and important point. I would explore this with her if I were you. Was she saying this out of cynicism, or does she herself not care. If it’s the latter, why? Given that it directly affects her, why would she feel this way? Does she not understand how it affects her?
  All of that has to be under the assumption that any other political disagreements you two have can be accepted by both of you and treated with mutual respect.

I'd say both. A queer Trump-supporter is (by definition) an impossible thing, yet many exist.
It's a red flag, to be sure, but I honestly think it would be best to sit down with her and talk it over. Now is actually a good time to do that, since the inauguration was just yesterday.

Update: my gf also tells everyone she’s gay and always posts mlm/wlw representation
- also, my gf just turned 15, for the comment I can't see

23 comments