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[TW: dysphoria][support] Need advice on my dysphoria struggles.

Sorry in advance for the depressing thread, but I don't have anyone in my life with trans experiences and I need advice on what I'm feeling.

As much as we might wish we could waking up one morning with the body of a gorgeous k-pop idol or something, the fact is reality doesn't work that way. And this kind of thing is what I'm struggling with the most, the fact that I'm always going to struggle with body hair and masculine features.

I was on HRT for one month, and still have the relevant medications in my bathroom, but stopped. Partially due to lack of support, but mostly due to self-doubt and lack of confidence that I'll ever be happy with how I look. I just couldn't see the woman inside coming out.

I kept asking myself: what would be worse? Constantly wishing I could successfully transition, or transitioning and having to live with never being able to pass? This became additionally concerning with the uptick in abuse against trans people.

Part of me feels guilty for stopping and falling back on the safe suffering I already know, and a part of me feels guilty for giving up, part of me is scared of all the new things I'll have to learn if I re-start, and another part of me is concerned about how my partner would feel if I started again, I know she doesn't approve but doesn't want to say so.

For those of you who are/were larger, or taller, or older, or more hairy, how did you manage these concerns? For those of you without resources in your life to aid your transition, how did you get support?

Thank you for reading.

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  • Obviously things cost money, you patronising jackass, but pining all your hopes on CEOs and the ultra-wealthy to cut in to their own profit margins for the sake of humanity makes you more braindead than I am. It's scientific innovation that drives discovery, cost reduction, and economic growth, not profit-hoarding conglomerates.

    A large portion of our discoveries and inventions in the past fifty years or more are building on top of innovations made during the 60s, 70s, and 80s by NASA's launches. Electrical engineering, structural engineering, communications and data, materials sciences, all needed to be advanced for space travel. Handing this responsibility off to SpaceX just leads to all the data, discoveries, innovations, and corollaries being patented, trademarked, and locked away to make sure no competitor can take advantage of it.

    Shell knew climate change was going to devastate the planet over 50 years ago. Did they capitalise on that opportunity to develop green and renewable energy first and completely dominate that market for the betterment of themselves and the planet? No. They locked down that information, spread misinformation for decades, and made short term profiteering decisions to advance their own individual careers. Now we're watching the planet slowly burn. So sure, let's trust the corporate pigs.

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  • This is a horrible take. Absolutely awful, ultra-capitalist drivel. Why does every action or accomplishment have to be viewed through the lense of economic benefit? Not even holistic or utilitarian, just stakeholders and making the ultra-wealthy even wealthier... Who gives a fuck about space tourism? What the hell does that give us as a species?

    The original comment about the importance of aerospace and space exploration is absolutely correct, but the idea that the end goal is space tourism is more than enough to make me turn against it also. The end goal is exploration, technological advancements, and a greater understanding of how our universe works. We should be taxing the ever-loving shit out of sociopaths like Musk and Bezos and feeding some of that in to NASA, and ESA, so scientists can make discoveries for us all, rather than businessmen making discoveries so they can exploit, gatekeep, and profit off it.

  • We're monsters
  • For every verifiable, fact-based statistic on the internet, there are a thousand bullshit, nonsense statistics made by @froghorse

    I'm just guessing here.

  • Removed
    gotdamn
  • It would be massively more simple, and more profitable to government, to simply levy a colossal tax on property owners who leave their rental properties empty for more than six months or so.

  • Russia's central bank raises interest rates to 12% after the ruble plunges
  • It seems like their economy is reliant on a series of short term fixes, and as each one winds down another bigger one needs to take its place.

    12% interest is another example of this, it will improve things in the short term but has no effect on the underlying problems, meaning that in a couple of months or so something even more drastic will be needed.

  • China's fertility rate drops to record low 1.09 in 2022
  • And the rest of the developed world is going to follow close behind as long as the wealth inequality stays as ridiculously broken as it is.

  • NASA temporarily loses contact with one of its most distant spacecraft | Ars Technica
  • You say that, but some journalist said we were one million years away from flight and then something like a week later the Wright brothers conducted their first flight.

    While we may not be quite that close, it may not be as far away as you think.

  • Twitter commandeers @X username from man who had it since 2007
  • C'mon bro, it's 2023, if I have to tell you that sarcasm is difficult to determine through text then that's your fault, not mine.

  • Mitch McConnell escorted away from cameras after freezing during a news conference
  • The lizardpeople living in the sewers of NYC were performing updates, so their control signals couldn't get through...

  • Birthright citizenship is fundamental to “who we are as a nation.” So why do Republicans attack it?
  • What could be a more fundamental part of the American Dream than the "tired, poor, huddled masses" trying to give their children a better future through naturalization.

    This is just another Republican nail in the coffin of that dream, killing everything that made others envious of America while they shout more and more shrilly that America is still the best country on the planet.

  • Brands that don't buy enough Twitter ads will lose verification
  • gold checkmark identifying that the account belongs to a verified brand.

    Blue checkmark and gold checkmark are different things.

  • Google is already pushing Web Environment Integrity into Chromium
  • But a massive amount of them are. Small and solo creators on Youtube or Twitch need to conform to the rules of Google and Amazon, and even medium size creators are influenced and coerced by the precedents and market trends set by the much larger corporations.

    And it doesn't matter if not all content is provided by large corporations, those large corporations employ the most people, and dictate in a lot of ways, the rules of the employment market. It's due to their habits and practices that wages are artificially low and expenses are inflated for record profits.

    Until corporate greed is managed properly, consumers will always struggle to have enough expendable income to pay content creators, and therefore will always be searching for free content.

  • Google is already pushing Web Environment Integrity into Chromium
  • They are absolutely not separate issues. How can I be expected to shell out $15 per month for 10 different content subscriptions if I can only just afford to put food on my table?

  • Google is already pushing Web Environment Integrity into Chromium
  • Surely you can reverse that and point out corporations whining and moaning about people expecting free content when they're barely paying their employees enough to afford to pay their bills.

    The problem starts with corporate greed, hoarding revenue by keeping employee's salaries to the minimum acceptable, providing as little functionality as possible to reduce overheads, double dipping by selling a product/subscription and then selling their customer's data, and then complaining they aren't getting more money for what little they are doing.

    Then inevitably a little guy like Kbin comes along and suffers because the internet is filled with soulless, ultra-capitalist corpo scumbags.

  • What distribution is most used in production environment
  • RedHat, CentOS, Debian, Ubuntu.

    All are good choices.

  • Florida's new Black history curriculum says "slaves developed skills" that could be used for "personal benefit"
  • But the other side of that is no political accountability. There's no risk of punishment, so why should they care? Insider trading, corruption, nepotism, general lying, acting in bad faith, and intentionally misrepresenting facts to disrupt useful debate.

    Politicians get away with all of that and more, and get paid massive amounts of money, above and below the table, while they do it.

  • Florida's new Black history curriculum says "slaves developed skills" that could be used for "personal benefit"
  • It's so weird to me, what do they expect to happen to the economy of their state when their workforce has such a poor education?

  • Diablo 4 Won't Receive Another Patch Like Controversial Season 1 Update "Ever Again"
  • I think perhaps we can come to some middle ground between those two sentiments though! The nerfs were a bit heavy, but the game is still new, no one should really be so upset at major changes dropping before the start of the first season. People acting like Blizzard stole their money and slept with their mother... The game isn't even unplayable.

  • Terraria + tModLoader on Ubuntu?

    Does anyone have experience getting tModLoader to run properly? When I try it with the Steam snap, using Proton, the game loads fine but when I get in to a world it goes black except for the UI.

    Other threads have a few solutions, like using the Steam linux runtime instead of Proton, and running the start-tModLoader.sh file from terminal before trying to play. But these didn't work for me.

    Does anyone know how to get it working?

    0
    New install - Help, 3 out of my 4 regularly played games aren't working!

    Spurred by the move to non-proprietary software I swapped out my Windows 11 for Ubuntu 22.04 LTS, and now 3 out of the 4 games I regularly play don't work well enough to play. I haven't checked games I only play occasionally, but I expect issues there too...

    1. Path of Exile via Steam - Works perfectly, in fact maybe slightly better than Windows
    2. Overwatch 2 via Lutris - Runs but with significant stuttering making it difficult to play
    3. Diablo 4 via Lutris - Cannot run due to "Graphics Initialization failed" error
    4. Melvor Idle via Steam - Runs but with minor stuttering and randomly breaks requiring complete re-install

    I've Googled, and tried the most common solutions to these problems (like configuring Lutris to use VKD3D v2.8, running the script that Lutris provides with Overwatch, and add D4 to Steam and run from there) but no real positive changes.

    For the most part, the rest of Ubuntu has been fine, but I don't want to be locked out of doing things I want to do on my own machine... Would appreciate any tips before I get too impatient and go back to Windows!

    Thanks in advance.

    3
    What's your Sci-Fi unpopular opinion?

    It's a slightly click-baity title, but as we're still generating more content for our magazines, this one included, why not?

    My Sci-fi unpopular opinion is that 2001: A Space Odyssey is nothing but pretentious, LSD fueled nonsense. I've tried watching it multiple times and each time I have absolutely no patience for the pointless little scenes which contain little to no depth or meaningful plot, all coalescing towards that 15 minute "journey" through space and series of hallucinations or whatever that are supposed to be deep, shake you to your foundations, and make you re-think the whole human condition.

    But it doesn't. Because it's just pretentious, LSD fueled nonsense. Planet of the Apes was released in the same year and is, on every level, a better Sci-fi movie. It offers mystery, a consistent and engaging plot, relatable characters you actually care about, and asks a lot more questions about the world and our place in it.

    It insists upon itself, Lois.

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    Anomandaris Anomandaris @kbin.social
    Posts 4
    Comments 72