I was feeling a bit uncomfortable with asking about this topic because I was worried that I would inadvertently be offensive somehow, so I typed my actual verbal stim into the post. Making weird noises when I'm overwhelmed is a way for me to get the energy out sometimes.
"Perfectionism is shame leaving the body." - The Daily Llama
But seriously, I think the majority of perfectionism is rooted in childhood shame. That comes from family that was overly critical, so we attempted to address it by being perfect. Maybe try messing things up in a safe manner on purpose to behaviorally teach yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.
That's a tough one. Sorry for whatever strated you down that path It can be mentally exhausting and isolating. I hope you figure a way out of it.
My friend has a history of overeating and was about 70 lbs heavier than she is now. She started a keto diet that helped her get to her current weight/size, and now employs a modified diet where she goes keto regularly rather than stay on a strict diet all the time. It seems to work well for her since she can regularly eat whatever she wants between breaks. If you're interested, I could ask her for online resources. Let me know 🙂👍
How many Slim Jims are you eating, and why do you want to stop?
Based on a few docu-series I've seen on the Internet that include casting interviews, adult parties, and erotic behaviors in public, I'm pretty certain that the Czech Republic is lax on sexual matters.
how can anyone believe [Trump]?
MAGA is in a trauma bond with Trump.
She said it’s so rare to get to choose a digital representation that matches her skin tone that she just thinks it’s fun to get to do it for once.
awww, that sounds so cute
It's basically the same thing, but out of the other end of the GI tract 👌💦💩
I'm asking because as a light-skinned male, I always use the standard Simpsons yellow. I don't really see other light-skinned people using an emoji that matches their skin tone, but often do see people of color use them. Maybe white people don't naturally realize a need to be explicit with emoji skin-tone or perhaps it's seen as implicitly identifying or requesting white privilege.
-
Is there a significance to using skin-tone emojis, and if so, what is it?
-
Assuming there might be a racial movement attached to the first question, how does my use of emojis, both Simpsons yellow and light-skin, interact with or contribute to that?
Note: I am an autistic white Latino-American cis-gendered man that aims to be socially just.
Autistic text stim: blekh 😝 blekh 😝 blekh 😝 blekh 😝 blekh 😝 !!
that's true. I might be hyper- vigilant or reactive to those kinds of things.
I’m not the kind of ‘trendy’ bipolar, although my cunt of an aunt believes I have ‘convinced’ myself of that, despite being to the nuthouse twice (50 days total) and several psycho-shinks having diagnosed me with several other mental disorders; the very first nuttyness I got diagnosed with was of course, ADD/ADHD.
I was diagnosed with several mental health conditions before autism spectrum disorder. One of them was bipolar, but I didn't really relate to that. Apparently, I was pretty good at masking and high functioning on paper due to vocational success, while the mental health providers I saw were not well-trained in autism. That meant that they never even considered autism and kept guessing what was going on. At some point, I swear they thought I was making things up to make a case for disability. Anyway, someone that knew me for a while mentioned that they thought I was autistic. I took an online test that seemed valid, and the results suggested that I was likely autistic. After that, I saw a psychologist that specialized in autism for a thorough assessment. They said that I was definitely autistic.
So given that I have had a natural birth, the flow of oxygen could have been cut off to my brain. So could I also be ‘on the spectrum’ as they say?
My second cousin, son of my first cousin once removed, is autistic. As I understand chief reason for this is your mom and dad being old. Like my first cousin once removed was 40 when she had her son, her husband was in his 40s too.
There are many potential risks linked with having an autistic child. However, they are only risks, not certain causes. Meeting a risk factor does not certainly cause autism.
How do I know that I am ‘on the spectrum’ without relying much on any external sources?
Considering the complexity of your case, I think that you really can't be certain without a valid assessment by an expert in the matter. By expert, I don't mean any psychologist. I mean a psychologist that specializes in autism.
Is it like bipolarity where they give you pills?
Nope. There are no medications for autism.
What does exactly happen when you are known to be an autistic person?
Generally, people learn about themselves as an autistic person, review their lives to make sense of their troubles, then make adjustments so that they can function and be happy while accepting they are autistic. For example, rather than force yourself to sit through a social event that is loud and overwhelming, you might leave early or not attend at all. While this may seem silly for those of us that are masking and gaslighting ourselves, it helps us out tremendously when we put it into effect. There are many areas in our lives that can improve when we make accommodations like that for our autistic traits.
I don’t do well socially either. Again I realize these are ‘funhouse’ and ‘stereotypical’ things people say about people on ‘the spctrum’. But I get annoyed even if people use the apostrophe ’ incorrectly!
I could just be an obsessive asshole.
Maybe! You could also be an obsessive asshole that is autistic as well. lol. But seriously, many adults that are unaware they are autistic have been told they are assholes because of their social differences, so they come to believe it. When really, they socialize differently and would be considered outstanding people in settings that are better suited for them.
I am also a druggie but that’s a whole other story.
Some autistic people resort to self-medicating with drugs because the environment is too stimulating, though they wouldn't be able to say it that way. Their experience is that they feel horrible sometimes and the solution is to use a drug that makes them numb to it.
My parents were from different cities, different races even. My dad was brown-skinned and green-eyed, my mom is white-skinned and brown-haired. Both are ethnically Persian though. Although my dad’s grandmother was a gypsy, these gypsies are not the ones you find in Romania, these are the gypsies who stayed behind closer to the place of origin. We call them ‘jatts’; and that’s how anthropologists know gypsies come from India (if people close to India call them ‘jatt’, and there’s a group of people in India called ‘jatt’ then, put two and two together I guess!
Pretty cool!
I don't know. I saw similar situations recently in the Narcos series on Netflix. Innocent people were placed into situations in which they had to either (a) break the law for considerable compensation or (b) not break the law and suffer horrible consequences. I guess in that situation, the best you can do is to pack up as soon as possible and hide somewhere. There's really nothing else. If someone has the financial means and audacity to bribe a juror with $120k over a case with 70 defendants defrauding $250 million from the government, they likely have the means to order a hit on you and your family. It's a terrible situation to be in, and I would love to know how this has been handled in the past, how they are going to handle it now, and what the outcome will be.
How would she give it back tho?
Autistic people are more likely to be depressed just because life is harder being autistic. We're often overwhelmed, insulted, bullied, misunderstood, and lonely.
Exactly! I want to go home is not an invitation for a discussion on why I should stay. It's my compromise for telling you that I am leaving in a nice way.
Example: I want to sleep with you.
NT translation: I want to have sex with you.
Autistic translation: I want you and I to literally sleep and nothing else near each other, probably because I'm scared of sleeping alone in an unfamiliar place or some sensory thing.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16132498
> How was this show made
Say there's a forest, but there's a small cleared area where a family can build a place to live. What's the geographical term for that?
Edit: The word I was looking for was a clearing. A glen was suggested as well, but that is a space between rolling hills, while the space I was thinking of was on flat land.
Thank you everyone!
Just out of curiosity, I'm interested in understanding the experience of running a franchise as an "owner" of the location. I have no intention or desire to run one myself, yet I find it interesting. From the outside, it seems like a weird relationship in which you are the owner and not at the same time. You own the location, but mostly everything major is decided and dictated by the franchise company. So, what's it like?
-
How do you view your relationship with the franchise and your employees?
-
What do you label and describe your position as?
-
What are your responsibilities?
-
What is it like to manage your employees?
-
What are the benefits of running it?
-
What are the downsides?
-
Is it a lucrative investment?
-
Was it hard to get into and start up? Were there any major barriers initially?
-
It is easy once you get used to it, or is it a lot of work?
-
If you suddenly didn't have the franchise, would you try to start it again?
-
Anything else I might not have thought to ask?
I'm interested in hearing about the personal experiences of living in the USSR without making it a political conversation. Rather, just what life was like, the good and the bad, from a nonjudgmental human perspective.
Corporate online social networks ultimately aim to increase profits, so they inevitably enshitify themselves. Meanwhile, the federated system allows users to switch instances or even create their own should their current main instance become unappealing. It also allows users to join several instances simultaneously, allowing users to tailor their experiences based on purpose and privacy.
Purpose
I have been doing some thinking on how the social world works, and wrote down my thoughts to help organize them. I am sharing them here in case anyone can help me build on them, find any issues, or benefit from these observations and conceptualizations. I think that building on this will help us understand our lives better and can also contribute to developing a culture that is more accepting and inclusive of our neurotype, so here it goes.
Intro
Having autism is a set up to live in an unreliable and chaotic social world that can become threatening at any moment and to define yourself as unworthy of attention, inclusion, and love. This is based on the well-established phenomenon that we do not understand NT cues and implications, so we miss out on a lot of their communication. This results with NTs making meaning out of our behaviors and statements that we absolutely did not mean or foresee, which leads to misinterpretations on both sides.
To help convey my ideas, Yippee will be the name of a hypothetical autistic person in the following examples.
Example 1
In the first example, an NT could take offense to something Yippee said innocently and pridefully of their authenticity even after assessing for all of the possible ways the statement could be offensive or rude. This is likely to happen in a situation where the NT is asking something indirectly, while Yippee only understands the direct question. It will not be until much later, even days to years, that Yippee will realize the true intention of the question. Let’s say someone creates a PowerPoint presentation and runs it by Yippee. The NT would ask at the end what Yippee thought of it. However, it is possible that the NT is actually saying, “Tell me this is good so I can feel confident.” What Yippee heard was, “How can we make this better?” What could follow is Yippee pointing out all the issues they saw with it, and Yippee would be doing so to demonstrate how hard they focused and thought about it because that costs them mental energy and they are spending it on the NT. Yippee is telling them how much they care about the NT’s production. What the NT experienced was that rather than make them feel confident, Yippee made them feel worse! Yippee did the exact opposite of what the NT was requesting. Naturally, the NT will be offended, which will cause them to be upset with Yippee. Yippee would then feel offended that their efforts were not only dismissed, but attacked out of nowhere.
Example 2
It can also happen in situations where the NT will take Yippee’s statement to be overly nice as if Yippee were trying to establish a closer relationship. For example, Yippee may notice that an acquaintance changed their hair and looks nice. Trying to be comforting and complimentary, Yippee tells them, “Your hair looks nice!” What Yippee thought was occurring was that the NT went out of their way to change their appearance, which Yippee understands has high value in society, and Yippee was trying to help them feel comfortable with the change. What the NT might have understood was that Yippee was trying to flirt. If the NT is not interested in Yippee romantically, they might feel uncomfortable and start distancing themself. If the NT is interested, they might start making attempts to flirt back with Yippee. Yippee likely will not pick up on those, so the NT may feel tricked or rejected. If Yippee does happen to pick up on them, then Yippee might feel confused because Yippee did not think they flirted with the NT. Yippee could even feel uncomfortable enough to distance themself from the NT, which would be confusing and insulting from the NT’s perspective. Regardless of the intentions, the social interaction that started out as innocent and caring turns into a displeasure for both sides.
The situation for Yippee could even get worse if the NT starts telling other people, some of which have likely had similar experiences with Yippee, that Yippee is a meanie. They start validating each other, so they do their NT thing and establish a truth based on social construction. If everyone believes it, it is true. Yippee the Caring is now deemed to be Yippee the Meanie.
For the NT, these interactions with an autistic person like Yippee are rare and odd interactions with a person they might see as a meanie. Yet, to Yippee this is a regular experience. This was another interaction in a lifelong set of interactions that go sour out of seemingly nowhere. As such, Yippee may have developed a view of the social world as being unpredictable, unreliable, and dangerous.
This can result in further exacerbating Yippee’s difficulties. As an autistic person, they may need the support of NTs. However, it may take Yippee a long time to attach because they are constantly waiting for the relationship to go bad at any moment without warning. They may even see that people are generally mean and manipulative. It can also result in Yippee being mute in new social settings or social groups that meet infrequently because they don’t want to speak since they don’t know what will be seen as rude or offensive, further limiting Yippe’s ability to make social connections.
Abuse
Here comes a potential dark side of this. With a lifelong history of Yippee being told they are careless and rude, of course Yippee would integrate some of that into who they believe they are. Additionally, since relationships could flip out of nowhere, Yippee doesn’t feel valued or worthy. Yippee feels like more of a utility or placeholder. This then can lead to even further damaging social patterns to obtain greatly desired social connection, such as people-pleasing, placing more effort into relationships than others, and tolerating mistreatment. These patterns make Yippee more vulnerable to predatory abusers that have learned to capitalize on individuals by strategically attacking their vulnerabilities and relentlessly benefiting from their efforts to counteract perceived failings. Relationships with these predatory abusers tend to make matters much worse as they work toward isolating their victims to have complete control over them. If the autistic person is capable of escaping that, they may still be torn apart socially and decide that the social world is just too dangerous, doomed to live a life of social isolation unless there is some very deep mental work completed along with professional and social support.
Tentative Conclusion
The above examples illustrate how different social expectations based on neurotype can lead to harmful outcomes. I argue that these outcomes would not have been as likely should the interactions had taken place between two NTs or two autistics. It still could have, but less likely. Therefore, one of the factors that we could consider when improving social interactions is to consider ways in which we can help develop understanding of each others neurotypically-based cultural differences. As far as what the autistic person can do is to find places that are safe for them. Once there, the autistic could mask less and let people know their neurotype so that others know to be aware of cultural differences. Other autistics can also identify themselves and be a source of inclusion, support, and dvocacy. NTs can help by becoming educated in autistic culture, using direct language, clarifying in odd situations, and educating and encouraging other NTs to do the same. Unfortunately, autistic people will have considerable limitations with doing the same for NT culture because they are physically incapable of doing so, just like many NTs will have a lot of difficulty with developing special interests, being brutally authentic, or avoiding small talk. Still, if we find where we can work to come together, we can work to make things better for both groups.
Author's Note
I think the tentative conclusion is that part that needs the most work. Knowing myself, I will be obsessively thinking about this for a few weeks, so I might have updates. In the meantime, I would welcome any helpful critiques, suggestions, or insights.
I always thought that didn't happened, but based on what I've seen on the Internet, it seems like it is possibly more common that I thought.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/17147012
> > "Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” > > > > and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person” > > > >and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay." > > > >-a 15yo autistic girl experiencing ABA therapy > > Source
I'm not a tech person, so I used to use Linux Mint. LM is a simple and easy distro with relatively minor issues for the average user. Additionally, their main forum was active and quite supportive of noobs/non-techies. However, I have switched over to KDE Neon and not found similar support yet. Is their a site that is active and supportive of noob questions?
When I say supportive of noobs, I mean I need people to give me the exact commands to enter into the terminal. Guidance such as, "Just check to see what driver you're using," will not really help me.
PS - I would be happy to give a regular donation to said sight for their support.