Why both? I'm subbed to kbin communities on Lemmy.
OP is doing something right if they're making it all the way to a date. I'm usually pretty great in person, don't often have issues getting second dates if I want them, but holy shit the early stages on apps are infuriating. Most men aren't signing up to dating sites to try out our comedy routines and throw out pickup lines for fun, but it seems like that's what it takes to get a reply.
Women often don't feel the need to fill out anything in their profiles since they know they can skate by on a couple of cute photos, a platitude, and/or a list of things they don't want. I need to ask questions to make sure I'm not wasting my time. How do I have a fun conversation if I have no idea what they like? Asking and answering questions might be "boring" but I also feel like it's important to figure out if we're just wasting time. If you jump to the date without much talking, you might have a lot of those left over.