(Washington D.C.) After two weeks of the new presidential administration, the country and the world have seen tremendous change. The US has cut off most aid, begun laying off government workers, and installing choices many call questionable into key cabinet positions. But as the snowballing consequences begin hurtling towards us for these choices, republicans remain delighted they’re happening.

“I bet them deep state spies are quaking in their boots,” said Erma Kruntz, as she nervously waited by her mailbox for her medicare check. “I’m tired of paying for so many people to sit around and make my money, not that I pay taxes, and this efficiency thing is gonna fix that.”

Kruntz, whose benefit check may be delayed by government confusion over furloughs, is not the only one cheering trump’s changes. Leo Sturbgetter, a cow de-tangler in North Carolina, shares similar thoughts. “We send money all over the world, while people are starving here in America. We need to take that money and use

(Internet) It has been another eventful day, as yet another disastrous event unfolded in the trump presidential administration. And as reporting outlets consolidate and coverage wanes, Americans are finding only vague coverage of the latest outrage or policy, and this leaves them as disheartened as the events themselves.

This act or policy has left many wondering what the next outrageous act or policy will be. “It feels like each one is the worst,” said one person affected, “but we know, somehow, this will be overshadowed by the next one.”

Editors are as tired as the people affected, as well. “We can only hope this article can be run again, with minimal editing,” said one editor. “This administration keeps creating these terrible events, so that we barely have time to respond. Only by creating a generalized article that seems to cover each individual event, but is really just a vague hand-wave towards it, can we hope to meet our reporting mandate with a meager budget.

Republicans, h

(Washington D.C.) As cabinet and staff positions are filled in the new administration, emphasis is being taken to highlight how representative of America this cabinet is. But less emphasis has been given of late: the White House has been facing recent allegations that - while the major advisors do represent the diversity of America - the cabinet and staff might represent the wrong parts of America, and this realization is slowly settling on the largely, some would say mostly, white straight male truck owning voters that make up the core of the president’s support.

“Did I hear one of them is gay,” asked Leo Sturbgetter, a cow de-tangler in rural Oklahoma. “I’m pretty sure someone said one of them was gay. I already got a lot of guys I know talking about how trump said they was gay, and buying up Bud Light like it was on sale, so I don’t like hearin’ about that gay guy.”

Sturbgetter refers to Richard Grinell, the experienced former acting director of the Department of National Intellig

As trump completes his second week in office, new outlets continue to report on his bungled handling of a collision between a passenger jet and military Black Hawk. And this has America’s adversaries around the world nervous.

“I have to be missing someone we paid off,” said one Iranian official on condition of anonymity. “Do we have a speech guy, or a teleprompter guy? Do we need to send a bribe payment there?” The negative response from his staff left him disheartened. “Can we anyway,” he asked. “I’m getting a medal for this.”

This sentiment is reflected throughout America’s competitors around the globe, as intelligence agencies scramble to find out who they owe money for this flaming train wreck of ineptitude. A mid-level Chinese intelligence officer expressed his frustration. “They cut off all government grants,” he complained. “All of them. I have American researchers calling the Chinese government with papers ready to publish asking for funding.”

“I went to school for ten years

(Washington, DC) It has been a lightning 10 days for the trump administration, as policy changes are rippling through government with a clear mandate to end what republicans view as preferential treatment of gays, transexuals, and minorities. And as these measures play out, a large number of shocked conservatives are finding that these measures, intended to hurt the groups they fear, are having immediate effects on them and their families.

“I’m 32, I work out every day, I have a wife and 3 kids,” said one midwestern man. “I drive a truck, and that tattoo right there is on installments. But I was employed 8 months at a federal job, and now I’m looking to be furloughed if not straight out fired. We were supposed to be hurting the gays. Am I gay? Is president trump telling me I’m gay? I’m confused, man.”

This confusion is becoming widespread, as virile men and strong women around the US come to terms with the challenging fact that policies they felt would hurt these specific groups are

(Washington DC) As trump enters the second week of office, issuing executive orders en masse that caused sweeping changes to the political landscape, republican leaders are becoming concerned that fear among their electorate is approaching lows not seen in four years. Lawmakers are apprehensive, as push button issues appear to be addressed by gross overreaches of power, greatly reducing the anxiety of republican voters.

“Last week,” said one aide who asked not to be named, “you could say DEI or immigrant drug pedophile, and have a turkey elected as governor of a red state. Now, although nothing has really changed, it appears to have changed… which is the worse thing we could possibly face.”

“I think we won,” said Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in rural Arkansas. “All that DEI is gone, trump said so. It even snowed last week. Take that, global warming.”

Signs of weakening in the power of fear are apparent in state politics, as Ron DeSantis faced pushback from his immigrant c

(Sevastopol, Ukraine) As the Fed watches carefully for signs of inflation and unions continue to fight for higher wages, the US economy has seen a new face on the hiring line - russian agents are actively calling for US workers in temporary positions, as many as 400,000.

Representatives for Worksource, Insight, ShortStaf, and many other hiring agencies around the US have been contacted to fill the order, and economists predict the pressure to fill these positions will be felt among competitors trying to fill minimum wage openings. Russia, not usually seen as a hiring choice in America, seems eager to fill positions (at minimum wage), offering free uniforms, short training periods before full employment, and lifetime health coverage for many positions. Fast food chains and other low wage employers are feeling the competition already.

“This is exciting,” said 63 year-old Peggy Bammer, of Tuscaloosa. “I’ve been stuck working at the Penny Mart for three years, I ain’t never had benefit

(Fort Worth, Texas) On a day where hundreds of criminals have been given a free pass, one imprisoned conservative law-breaker, Joe Exotic, is hoping to also cash in on the new president’s sweeping clemency with a request of his own. Exotic, who was convicted of multiple attempts of murder-for-hire against his fellow tiger “conservator” Carol Baskins, has a message for president trump: free me, and I will immediately attack the foundations of democracy.

The pledge is drawing mixed reviews from his fellow republicans. “I don’t think you can just promise to attack democracy and get a pass,” said Lowby Prucker, a self-proclaimed republican activist. “These men… and maybe women, I don’t keep track of that… they already stood up and said ‘no’ when America tried to follow the constitution [on January 6th]. They risked getting arrested and went to jail. Now that everybody knows there’s no consequences, of course some people will claim they’ll do it.”

“Maybe if he said he’d ride a tiger int

(Helsinki, Finland) It has been a banner year for evil corporations slowly squeezing humanity for every last drop of profit. With trains derailing, ships hitting critical infrastructure, oil spills and fires, global warfare, and ongoing opioid problems, the dramatic end to a functioning society seems closer every day, as every facet of life seeks monetization. And every year, one industry stands out more evil than them all, and this year, oil execs say, it is going to them.

“We’ve definitely seen the attention healthcare is getting,” said one oil executive, slipping into his baby-sea-otter-skinned jacked before a gala. “You have to admit, everyone hates health care… even we in petroleum. But while they are evil… who isn’t… oil has a deep-seated hatred in the world’s psyche that deserves recognition.”

The ‘Most Hated Industry’ Awards, or “the Haties” (not to be confused with the country destroyed by poverty), is recognition that one sector is out-crushing everyone when it comes to w

(Wilmington, Delaware) - After a hard two weeks of soul-searching, American Healthcare Executives say they have learned from recent events, and they’re ready to make changes.

“This is horrible,” said one executive who asked not to be named. “Not only was a man killed in the streets - a father - but the reaction of many people was excitement and jokes about his death.” This sounds a common sentiment among healthcare executives in American following the recent shooting: they are ready to make a change.

“We are already rolling out new policies, to respond to some of the concerns we are hearing in this national conversation,” wrote another executive in an email who wishes to go unnamed. “We are changing how we look at healthcare, and we are excited to reduce the amount of evil we bring to the world by three… and sometimes up to six percent… in order to no longer be shot in the streets like dogs.”

Policy changes will begin immediately. “In some cases, we used to deny cancer treatment

I was thinking about crazy optimizations today and I’m surprised we don’t hear more people talk about this combo. A cleric that can cast lvl 3 spells can concentrate on spirit guardians and wild shape, and by becoming a large creature you can create a 40 ft field of fast moving justice taking the dodge action - that include spider forms, which allows ceiling walking to create the disco ball of death moving around a room out of melee reach.

I’m surprised I’ve never seen this build being abused.

I play with a group where we love to help out the DM with adventures; this is a batch of dragonoids I’m printing for our combats in a 5e Dragonlance campaign.

I print them, another player paints them, we all benefit from adding to the realism with 3D models. As a DM I love it when players help add to the realism of the game, and our DM trusts us not to push too much but to help if asked.

Just wanted to throw out this slice of gaming life in case it sparks ideas for anyone. Printing minis, building terrain, helping with play lists.. this can all help make the DM job easier and make a better game experience for everyone.

Or buy pizza. No one minds if you buy pizza.