Dean in WI @ kb7qdi @midwest.social

Born and raised in Wisconsin. Currently live in the Milwaukee/Waukesha WI

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31

Joined

2 yr. ago

Moderating

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NTA

Yes and no. You allowed him to go on his run, so punctuality wasn't going to happen and you knew it. You also had history with him.

That being said, three hours is not late; it's completely disrespectful.

NTA - sounds like you might be taken advantage of, even if it is for a good cause since the kid is an innocent party in all this.

Doesn't excuse the mother's behavior though. Remind her that you tackle a majority of the responsibilities, and she would have to clean the place no matter where she lived.

If she believes the grass is greener on the other side, politely let her find out. Hindsight is almost always 20/20.

No but you may have limited options. I would explain to them exactly what you stated here - you plan on getting drunk, relax, and have fun with friends. That doesn't mix with babysitting.

Hopefully they appreciate your situation. If they can't, then you will have to decide which is more important in the long term.

NTA - very unfortunate that both your parents are using you that way. IMO, the best thing for you is to try your best to remain calm but firm. Getting upset and loud will not help your relationship with them. If you have to bite you lip, or count to 10 before answering, do it. Sooner or later it will be over and things should go back to normal a little more.

NTA - his ego wrote a check his body couldn't cash. It's why the military are supposed to exercise every day, even if it's light (I served 5 years; wife served 22).
I've been in your husband's shoes; not taking it seriously enough and getting burned when it counted. I regretted it later, and in some respects I still regret it now. Hopefully he'll use this as self-motivation. If he does, cheer him on. If he doesn't, let him know that you enjoyed wrestling him last time and smile!

If your job includes impromptu trips then you may not have a choice, other than to quit before you planned to.

Certainly explain you situation, but if you've accepted previous trips like this your options may be limited.

Maybe not complete AH but very uncool and unnecessary. I can see why she's not talking to you.

In this scenario, I see you now as a boss and your wife and the housekeeper as your servants because you get the benefit of a completely clean house just because you can afford it.

Might work out for you financially but unless you enjoy snuggling up to your money every night I suggest you find a more reasonable solution.

NTA - very unfortunate, but ultimately necessary.

NTA. Perhaps not the best response, but in the end you chose what trip you wanted to go on the most. Everyone will have a good time, and hopefully there will be other opportunities.

I think a third party would help at this point. Someone like a therapist or a priest who can help explain both sides and present the best options.

NTA. You can certainly apologize for losing it, but in the end it is your choice, not hers.

Budgets are important, and it's great that you are trying to keep your long term goals. If your boyfriend wants to join you in that, then he will adjust accordingly. If not, it shouldn't change what you want to do.

No - you get to choose between zero children and as many children as you can handle.

Sounds like you need to have a discussion with your parents and further explain your side of who you believe is capable of watching your daughter.

In the end, it's not their call; it's yours.

Are there certain things that your husband asks around the house that you sometimes relax on, or even dismiss?

If you do, then you've answered your question.

Your friends said you should write a book; you did. But writing a book doesn't necessarily mean publishing a book.

You have a very tough choice. Is it worth losing your relationship with your mother, even if it's in the short term?

NTA for wanting the wedding when you want it instead of when your dad does, but IMO definitely the AH for using your dad's insistance as your financial gain. You basically bribed your father.

If he wants to invite friends and family to a date where a wedding will not occur, that's on him to explain. You only have to explain what you and your future husband plan to do.

No matter what you do, it is entirely your choice, not hers. Don't allow her or anyone else persuade you otherwise.

NTA for telling her how you feel. However, there will be times in your life where you will do things for other people even though you don't want to. If you're willing to do crazy things for best friends (at 16 I suspect you've probably done it at least once by now), then there should no harm in taking your mom's arm and walk her down the aisle purely for her benefit, even if you personally think you may be asked to do it again later.