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IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU ARE A CRAB, YOU SAY YES!
Imagine the disappointment of going to meet your crab brethren only to discover they're not actually crabs.
"goddamnit they're lying primaries again. Pack it up let's get out of here.'
'no crabs??'
'no they're bald fucking monkeys again. These ones LIE.'
"We've got some crabs..."
'OH SURE. YOU'VE GOT CRABS AND THEY HAVEN'T TAKEN OVER THE PLANET YET. RIIIIIIGHT. FUCK OFF PRIMATE.'
"Babe wait, I can change!"
Plot twist, they were looking for a snack, that's why they ghosted us. They reaaaaally like crab meat
Instead, some slushy ape with the skeleton on the inside. Disgusting.
That's why they haven't arrived here yet .... they're being held up by visiting every idiot planet that says they're crabs but they're not
This gives us time to become crabs before they come
Oh good, theyll be right over as soon as the pot is boiling and the butter is melted.