Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world Track_Shovel @slrpnk.net 1 day ago

Crabs

27 comments

I think this Tweet is referring to carcinisation, if any of the nerds reading this don't know what that is
- I hate that I knew of this beforehand.
  
  I love that you did
Fermi paradox solved once and for all
Nature abhors a vacuum but it fucking loves a crab
- My dog abhors the vacuum too.
  
  What's your dog's opinion on crab?
I love that you did
We are not delicious
- I've heard that butt meat is pretty good. I'd definitely try human if it was ethically sourced with consent. I do think I would gag or possibly even vomit though. But it's about the experience.
  
  Username checks out
  
  Thanks for sharing with the group.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU ARE A CRAB, YOU SAY YES!
- Imagine the disappointment of going to meet your crab brethren only to discover they're not actually crabs.
  
  "goddamnit they're lying primaries again. Pack it up let's get out of here.'
  
  'no crabs??'
  
  'no they're bald fucking monkeys again. These ones LIE.'
  
  "We've got some crabs..."
  
  'OH SURE. YOU'VE GOT CRABS AND THEY HAVEN'T TAKEN OVER THE PLANET YET. RIIIIIIGHT. FUCK OFF PRIMATE.'
  
  "Babe wait, I can change!"
  
  Plot twist, they were looking for a snack, that's why they ghosted us. They reaaaaally like crab meat
  
  Instead, some slushy ape with the skeleton on the inside. Disgusting.
  
  That's why they haven't arrived here yet .... they're being held up by visiting every idiot planet that says they're crabs but they're not
- Oh good, theyll be right over as soon as the pot is boiling and the butter is melted.
Might as well tell them yes. Some act like crabs in a bucket.
- We a little confused, but we got the spirit.
It's a Matter of Time
Who's asking?
- Do I answer? Yes I do!

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