r/China is a step above even over reddit
r/China is a step above even over reddit
the coward deleted the post but heres the full text
My current relationship is a shit show. To put this into perspective, I once threw away a packet of soy sauce that I thought was trash because it was mixed in with some trash. My Chinese wife then began screaming violently and trying to curse my family because of it. Another time she wanted to divorce me because I didn’t buy her a double cheeseburger from McDonalds. I didn’t want to buy it because she previously insulted me. As soon as I agreed, she began acted nice and sweet. In short, she can be extremely violent and demeaning even from the slightest thing.
I’ve talked to other people in China who tell me they’ve had similar experiences. So, is this kind of crazy behavior normal?
Edit: I’m adding details as some people are commenting saying that I deserve it or I should just try to understand her better. The above incidents are really just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve been chased with a knife, spit on, punched in the face, and much more. If I try to defend myself in any way shape or form, she threatens to call the police on me and lie, saying I’m a foreign spy. I’m not perfect and I’ve made mistakes in this relationship, but this behavior seems sadistic, evil, and way over-the-top. Yeah I agree with the BPD assessment in the comments as she can say “I love you” and “I hate you” within 5 minutes usually over something that wouldn’t even register as a problem to anyone on here. (For example, her having to repeat herself if I don’t hear her correctly)
And, by asking if this is normal among Chinese women, I’m not implying “all” Chinese women because there are differences in culture that could make this sort of behavior more prevalent in this society. Of course, there are mean spirited people in every culture. I never said that there were not. However, due to the one child policy, extremely rigorous schooling, etc… you can argue that these things carry serious issues with them that are more pronounced than western societies. If you disagree, that’s fine. You’re entitled to your opinion.
the comments are something special as well
IIRC psychopaths are born, but narcissistic personality disorder is created. And I think NPD is pretty common in China when only children are raised by some guardian that spoils them rotten. It's sounds to me like all these outbursts are just extreme ways to control you.
What you describe is not "normal" but it's relatively common. I seem to recall one explanation being the one child policy - being a daughter is a disappointment to the family and as a child they can absorb that sense of being somehow unwanted, but also parents will feel guilty for feeling like this and sometimes overcompensate by spoiling them with lavish gifts and things like that. The result is an adult with a deep feeling of insecurity as well as entitlement.
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NPD is pretty common in China when only children are raised by some guardian that spoils them rotten
“NPD is when kids are spoiled” is a pretty fucking hot take what on earth
Chinese parents:
[ ] Spoil their children rotten
[ ] Cruelly discipline their kids into obedient servants
Which is it, western man?
Both too strong and weak at parenting at the same time. I feel like I've heard that before...
I think a lot of people kind of look at someone like Trump, who is most definitely a malignant narcissist, and sort of put two and two together. I don't think they appreciate that alongside that wealth often comes a complete traumatic denial and invalidation of all their emotional needs. ....and god knows what else in his case.
That’s a good point. There’s an old school attitude that children will only ever behave because they’ve been dominated by their parents and therefore any “overindulgence” in a child’s desires is actually bad for the child because it violates the “natural” dominance hierarchy of the parent-child relationship and that’s why they misbehave.
There is a natural dominance hierarchy in the sense of “my child wants to run out into the street in front of traffic and I physically prevent them from doing so”. But the idea that a misbehaving child is misbehaving because they simply haven’t been dominated enough by authority figures is ridiculous. There are personality types which react to dominance with the exact undesired behavior (it me). And that’s to say nothing if the neglect that inevitably occurs when a parent-child relationship is damaged like this.
The „too much cuddling creates spoiled brats“ is sadly still a common attitude towards childcare in most countries, that’s practically how I was raised, and oh boy being a slightly obese child and also neurodivergent created a perfect storm of ghoulish behaviors by adults.