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Considering one of the criticism seems to be "woman made of triangles" which still holds true to this day as per video game characters this begs the question of how many triangles the OP assumes are necessary before you get to jerk off to a video game character
The correct and objective answer is: 2.
....because It takes 2 triangle welded together to form a polygon which can have a texture/sprite applied to it.
But PS1 Lara Croft is a lot more than 2 triangles and also not okay to jerk off over according to OP. So it's more than that, but what?
You don't need a quad to texture map, though admittedly your result would be very limited with just a single triangle...
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