You know this is an Onion article because the real frontrunner for the role of James Bond is going to be, like every other role, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.
Seriously though, there's a potentially great reboot opportunity there..
It would have to be very intelligently written to avoid the "reboot with women protagonist" clichés/pitfalls, the fact that 007 is a woman would have to strike just the right tone.. misogyny would probably need to be faced with a good dose of "ok boomer" smirking, it would absolutely have to pass the Bechdel test..
But yea, that would be the first James Bond I'd go see in 2 decades, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.