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But be careful not to wreck your supportive human relationships because you didn't therapy good enough.
This is true. Some people tend to dump everything on anyone who will listen, and it becomes exhausting for invested listeners.
Also so many people have decided that emotional connections outside of a relationship are cheating.
To that i say GFY.Humans are emotional beings that have evolved with the help of community. isolating yourself for a partner is self harm. it is normal, acceptable, and expected to have extra-relationship emotional connections with people of all genders.
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What do you mean when you say they're paywalled?
probably refers to the elimination of 'third places' a place besides home and work where people gather to socialize. About the only place left we can go without the expectation of spending money is a public library, and libraries are amazing but they're not always the best socializing spot. A major tenet of our capitalist system is separating us from things that are free and natural. If we isolate everyone in their own homes, or pods or what have you, then people can be charged for the services they use to connect to one another. Of course one may rebut that these services are usually free, to which I'd respond with the old adage "If it's free, you're the product and not the customer."
Third spaces are one part, but honestly the biggest part is literally not having time to spend with people outside of work.
edit: biggest part for me. my friends are mostly able to host at our own houses, and there are low cost (or free) third spaces we have found/created.
if you want a third space, you can actually make your own! kind of. reach out to libraries, local left-leaning businesses, and they might let you set up a weekly salon/hangout kind of thing. community activism!
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Not just libraries and businesses, but also religious facilities, clubs with a focus on social interactions, etc. Oftentimes they can provide rooms.
I take a ferry pretty much every day. 30 minute ride. Before cellphones, it was common to see people having great conversations with strangers. I'd have a good chat at least once a week. These days it's quiet all the time. Unless people come on together, they ignore everyone else, even if they aren't using a phone themselves. People have been trained to spend their time looking at the screens. Any place is a third space if you talk to people.
And risk hearing the opinion of a trump supporter? Just kidding. Really though, I hate meeting strangers and knowing there's a like a 1/3 chance they believe some pretty hateful stuff.
Most of the hateful stuff comes from social isolation, lack of emotional support and toxic relationships. A healthy social life could have prevented many of those people to radicalize into the idiots the are now.
That's one of Trump's biggest strengths.
20 years ago, people would call other folks on really terrible opinions, so the Right had to use dog whistles like 'law and order' when they meant 'string them up.'
If MAGoos knew that they'll have to engage randomly with folks throughout the day, they'd automatically rein in the crazy.
While you're on your phone looking at cat videos they're feeding each other's hatred.
Look at it this way; back in 2002 era folks were making fun of the overly decorated flag cars some 'patriots' were driving.
A vehicle done up full Trump style, with full size flags and a dozen signs, would have been a laughing stock.
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The highest aspiration for capitalism is to have "passive income" to be a gatekeeper, find some little loop hole to exploit, socialize the costs & privatize the profits
And parks! A walk in the park is completely free, and very positive for your mental health.
I guess it might depend a bit on where you live. In the city I live there's free social events in many different places, sometimes in stores, other times in religious buildings or clubs (organizations). Since you mentioned libraries, I rememberfree DND sessions are hosted at a local library. Like others have mentioned sometimes people just need to contact such places and ask if they can organize events there. Using existing connections can help but is probably not a requirement.
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Man if I get started saying money ruins everything I'd never get the chance to say anything else
I worry some that therapy has gotten into an industry where more people are interested in making profit than providing quality of care which has made a market where therapy can serve as a kind of yes man market as well. I definitely don't mean to belittle the benefit of therapy, but I know plenty of people who have shopped around therapists until they got one who said what they had already decided they wanted to hear as opposed to looking for a partner to work through specific issues with.
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“I’d like to give you genuine and forceful advice, but I also don’t want to get sued for poor decisions so I’ll just ask a bunch of vague philosophical questions about your life. Get ready to say ‘I dunno, I guess.’ and fill a check for $300.”
The difference between a therapist and a stripper as far as giving you their emotional support, is that if a therapist fucks up and you harm yourself, the therapist can lose their job. If the stripper fucks up and you harm yourself, the stripper can still strip.
Strippers don't have the accountability factors that therapists do.
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I also noticed how people on the internet (mostly women) used to say men should open up and be vulnerable.
Now they tell not to trauma dump. Funny.
Who tells you that?
The people in the internet.
I've never seen or heard anybody tell men not to trauma dump. On the contrary, I've only seen people tell men that they should open up and be comfortable with their emotions.
Ok, should I give screenshots as proof or are you willing to go to askwomen/twox/or any other women centric places and see for yourself?
Are you going to those places to talk about your problems? I think you might be misunderstanding the point of those communities.
Nope. That's just women discussing amongst themselves or answering questions about red flags or relationships.
Other terms I learnt are: love bombing, breadcrumbing, benching.
I know it might be strange to think, but not even close to a percent of women frequent those spaces.
Do you really think thats where youll find how the average woman feels?
Those terms are just as foreign to the average woman as they are to us. If you dont believe me, go look at the male equivalent spaces to those you listed. See if the men posting there represent your views well.
It's not just reddit. It's on every social media.
To think that such opinions are reaching only a small percentage of people in this day and age is just naivety.
Secondly, I'm not from the 'West'. The cultural divide between traditional and modern is much more stark where I'm from than it is in the 'West'.
Which means, if I want to date an independent woman in my country, it is most likely that she holds such views influenced by social media. Which means I have even fewer chances here than I'd have outside.
Or you could just not generalize actual people. Statistics aren't meant to be applied to individual scenarios. They are meant to aid decision making not to determine what will and won't happen with a specific person.
Go out, and meet some real women, and youll find not a single one of them is the same. Sorta like how you and your friends are all different people who, despite living in the same area and spending a lot of timetogetherz, still have their own personalities, peculiarities, and interests.
Are you concerned you will waste your time with someone? How could a relationship with another person sound so awful to you from a default position? Its also okay to disagree with someone, and everyone is on their own journey of understanding thousands of different concepts, to discount everyone who currently mentions those ridiculous terms of yours, is shooting yourself in the foot at best.
If you've ever had a belief or idea of yours changed before than you'd understand how absurd your excuses are.
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