It's fucking bullshit that you need like college, military service and shit to be a spy anymore.

I want to spy on the USA for China but they won't take me because I suck. ffs is there anything out there for failures to do to get ahead in life?

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I got an interview by sending Xi nudes via the local embassy. I mean, it wasn't for a job, but you gotta get your foot in the door somehow. They know my name and it's just a matter of time, now.
- I posted a few videos on instagram of me hitting baseballs in my backyard and Xi DM'd me about a job!
  
  Aw, dangit. Insta banned me after I tried to get an interview with Zuck!
- Here's a nude picture of me in a kayak:
  
  I'd hire you if I had the money, comrade.
Looking for funding for my new app, Spirr (pronounced Spy-er). It'll be the tinder of espionage, you'll want to get in on the ground floor of this one!

Just need several million dollars for rent, employees, cocaine, and bribes.
Oh but it's okay to hire the guy that lives in the gym to try and invade Venezuela for Trump. I stg everyone gets ahead but me.
Hard times.

A saboteur now needs to take on two jobs (Soros and Xi) just to survive 😢
My grandad was almost a spy in Vichy France just because he spoke French. He was supposed to meet with the French resistance, but they never showed up so he just went home
- Many such cases with the over-emphasized French resistance

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