I respect but also feel sorry for people who are sexually attracted to children, but manage to control themselves. They have to work extra hard constantly just to not be monsters, while the rest of us never even have to worry about that.
Well this is certainly a thing that someone typed once. I’d counter that it’s not simply that people are innocently attracted to children and therefore deserve sympathy. I’d say there’s more involved in that attraction. You can’t reasonably engage in any romantic or sexual abuse encounter with a child without there being a totally lopsided power dynamic and a high degree of exploitation. I’d argue that for all such people this is what draws them to it. Within that context it’s not some innocent ‘miswiring’ of the brain but instead an individual that is completely unhealthy and mentally unwell that is entertaining the idea of grooming some child. That’s the part they are after.
I know there’s a movement to try and see pedophiles as anything but what they are and you can sit and have thought experiments about ‘the ones that act vs those that don’t’ but at the end of the day you are left with a deeply unwell individual that desperately needs inpatient psychiatric treatment, psychiatric medication, extensive counseling, and total separation from any children.
Exactly - they need treatment and help so they don't act on it - but with the demonizing that's happening I'd guess that most of them are too scared to open up and try to fight their urge on their own.
I'd guess that pretty much no-one wants to normalise pedophilia in a way that makes acting that attraction out normal but making it more normal to talk about if and seek help similar to how depressions aren't nearly as stigmatized as 50 years ago
Well, you'd be wrong. Pedophilia is well studied. It's attraction to children, and there's a huge amount of variation in how that is expressed and how the psychology around it develops through a person's life. Baselessly claiming that all people with pedophilia are just rapists who want easy prey is unhelpful nonsense.
After all, the word stems from the suffix "philia" which means tendency or affinity towards, as opposed to "phobia" which means aversion or separation from. Philia is used for a lot of words as a suffix for literally meaning affinity towards, like in the word "hydrophilic" or affinity towards (bearing) water, but it can also denote interest or attraction as in "audiophile" (interested in audio), "cynophile" (interested in or lover of canines/dogs), or "gynophile" (interested or loving of women).
Here's the definition and further background about "pedophile".
That is absolutely a worthwhile argument. I definitely agree with you about treatment, medication, and counseling. Total separation from children is probably for the best, as well. If these people can be helped, they should be - not just for their own benefit, but for the improvement of society as a whole.
I respect people who [...] manage to control themselves
That's such a weird thing to say though.
Imagine you are in love with someone but they are not interested. Do you take pride in the fact you didn't rape/groom them because you "managed to control yourself"?
We're not animals. Controlling your sexual desires should be trivial for any decent human being.
Maybe it should be, but is it actually trivial? Addiction in general is a real thing, isn't it? For someone with say an eating disorder, maintaining a healthy diet isn't trivial at all. Paraphilias are different morally where they involve harming others and not just yourself and so it's more important to not act on them, but I'm not sure that means it's easier for a person with a paraphilia than it is for other sorts of people struggling with controlling their behavior.
IMO what it comes down to isn't whether these people deserve sympathy though, the more important consideration is preventing abuse. To me what the OP image shows is that the "just kill 'em all" attitude is unhelpful bullshit leading to pedophiles and abusers hiding in plain sight. What would be better is a conditionally supportive community that knows what they are and keeps tabs on them well enough to make sure they stay away from kids.
Feeling sexually attracted is not the same as addiction. If it starts to feel like withdrawal from addiction you have something else going on as well (for example an actual sex addiction). Additionally, pedophiles aren't necessarily exclusively attracted to children.
I do think they should have access to mental health care and they obviously shouldn't be incarcerated or threatened with death. But having respect for them for not abusing children is taking it way too far.
I also don't respect serial killers for every day they don't murder someone, I don't respect racists for every person they pass without punching them, etc.
I get what you are saying but I think it's probably easier in general for people in normal relationships because even if they get rejected, they have an opportunity to form a relationship with someone else. Someone attracted to minors never gets that chance. They aren't allowed (for good reason) to even try.
Obviously pedophilia isnt a great thing and pedophiles who abuse children should be punished severely, but I don't think it's a choice to be born attracted to minors. So it's unfortunate for them. Definitely not an easy topic.
No, they're not mentally ill. They're evil people who made a choice to harm innocents. Even the ones who want to but don't act on it are just manipulating others, playing to their sympathies. They likely download and use CP and here you are, defending them.
inb4 "I am not defending them!!" -- Yes you are.
inb4 "Yes they are mentally ill!!" -- No they're not. Even if they were, it doesn't matter; they're still responsible for their thoughts and choices regardless.
Replace "pedophile" with "rapist" in your arguments and ask yourself whether what you're saying is convincing.
You are jumping to a lot of wild conclusions and making some bold assumptions in your argument. I don't really wanna take a stance on this one way or the other as I have no idea what is the mindset of these people, but just reading thru this, your comment sticks out as you have all the answers and everything is either black or white. I dislike your conjecturing attitude.
Nah, I'm just telling the truth. It's the apologists reaching really really dangerous conclusions and putting innocent people at risk with the ideology they're peddling.
It is a very black and white situation by its nature. There's no nuance with pedophilia or rape and you insinuating there is harms other people.
Replace “pedophile” with “rapist” in your arguments and ask yourself whether what you’re saying is convincing.
Welp, I'd much rather live in a world where people that have thoughts of rape are encouraged to go to therapy and work through it than one where they all just keep themselves in check.
I'm not saying pedophiles don't have agency in the matter or something. I'm saying we should try to cure them before they hurt people.
So in other words, you know I'm right about this but you know you can't admit it directly because you are aware how bad it sounds
I, and most other abuse survivors, would rather live in a world where others reject rapists and throw them in jail instead of allowing themselves to be manipulated by enablers like you who seek to help them avoid punishment and other negative consequences for their actions.
I would rather live in a world where human agency is respected.
I would rather live in a world where we're allowed to accept people do evil things because they choose to and not be forced to adopt the destructive, dangerous and harmful beliefs that you want us to.
I'd rather live in a world where people like you are banned from the fediverse and are universally rejected.
Hell, I'd rather be a billionaire sitting on a beach getting fat right now than to have to argue with enablers like you.
Because evil is a choice and not a mental illness. Mentally ill people for the most part don't do evil things and non mentally ill people do sometimes choose to do evil things.
Labeling evil as a mental illness is ableist. It denies human agency, contributes to stereotypes that mentally ill people are violent and dangerous, and is a label that doesn't even apply to evil acts in a medical sense; it's a lot more nuanced than that but these apologist chucklefucks don't give a fuck because they know it's a popular misconception they can abuse to get their way.
Nah, it's excusing a crime. Pedophilia is a crime as is rape, and no one congratulates would-be rapists for controlling themselves. It's expected to not rape just as it's expected to not be a pedophile.
Evil people don't get excused from rules specifically banning evil.
Thoughts aren't crimes, actions are. Everyone has intrusive thoughts at some point or another. If you are going to criminalize thoughts alone, you might as well condemn all of humanity.
Except when it's pedophilia or sympathizing with pedophiles, which legitimizes the action and is why people reject it.
These are people who hoard and use CP, and you're defending them. You have to live with yourself and the choices you make. So will anyone else on this instance who refuses to acknowledge what is happening.