Based

They think gay/trans people go door to door trying to convert their kids because that's what they do. It's. Always. Projection.
- Somewhat relevant story; I found a laminated flyer on my jog today. The first half of it was talking about child trafficking in Columbia, then following on with "but it's not just gangs!" before linking underage sex trafficking and paedophilia with LGBT and drag, before moving on to a Lenin quote about owning a child's life, finishing off with "Hitler agreed with Lenin!". The second half was about finding God and salvation and all that.
  I can only imagine if someone who was gay or trans finding that and reading it - how upsetting that must be to read a random bit of sheet telling them they're a nazi paedophile. Picked up every one along my route and binned them, I should've taken a photo of it. How and why should anyone tolerate that?? Surely that's hate speech, if I find them placed around again I'm reporting it to the police. None of that shit in my area please.
  
  “We think you’re a child trafficking pedophile, but it’s okay because you fit right in!” Is just asking to get your ass kicked….
  It’s amazing how they actually think someone is going to “come to jesus” or whatever over it.
  
  Yep. I went to a charity sponsored human trafficking speaker who blew her credibility by having an SRA is real! bit. I suggested to my wife (who has business ties with the organization) that they might want to edit that part a bit.
- Or that your parents forced you into it. Like yes, my mother who refuses to acknowledge that I came out (as in she literally pretends that me coming out never happened) totally forced me to be trans. And my father who tried to convince me to "just be gay" totally forced me to be trans. Even though I can't be gay because being gay would require being attracted to anyone.

Stop ramming your gay cocks down my throat, I didn't come to this glory hole to gag. Straight cocks only

If someone asks if I've found Jesus I ask if they need to borrow a shovel.
- I usually ask which one.
  The question usually strains their limited reasoning capacity
  
  This is brilliant.
  Space Jesus?
  Jesús, my neighbor down the street?
  Fonzie Jesus?
  That big one on top of a hill in Brazil?
  Did I mention Space Jesus?
- I always say that he was behind the couch the whole time, but he may have been there a bit too long. It really showed his commitment to hide and seek, or it may have been a heart attack. Either way, I don't like to talk about it.
- I know a guy who found Jesus in prison! Is that the kind of guy you want to get mixed up with?

Yes. Whenever you hear them fretting over drag queen story hour, remind them of The Good News Club. teaching Hellfire to toddlers.

As a Utahn, this picture is a bit too relatable...
- As an ex Mormon, this makes me aggressively cringe at my past
- Bro I live in fuckin Ohio and have dealt with these

Just had a customer give me a Jeebus spiel yesterday. It was super uncomfortable, but on the plus side he gave me a $20 tip (I'm not in a position that is usually tipped).