The SMART ePANTS program seeks to develop clothing with integrated audio, video, and geolocation sensor systems that feature the same stretchability, bendability, washability, and comfort of regular textiles. By weaving these devices directly into garments, Intelligence Community staff will be able ...
Grandma: "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
SMARTePANTS: "Your kids should have gotten you a life alert necklace button thingy. I'm just here to observe. They wasted their 19.95 on the wrong thing."
“Alright team. Let’s play back the recordings and see if we finally have this mob boss confessing to those hits”. Plays back recording.
“Then I walked up behind him and” … audio is constantly interrupted by a string of loud farts.
“I’m sorry Captain. Jones did Taco Bell for lunch that day and the microphone on those pants are so close to the brass section of the band so to speak.”
The technology they are proposing to develop to do this sounds pretty sick tho:
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weavable conductive polymer “wires”, energy harvesters powered by the body, ultra-low power printable computers on cloth, microphones that behave like threads, and “scrunchable” batteries that can function after many deformations.
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However they don't seem to have any of that tech yet:
"In order to transfer this research into AST products, revolutionary new materials and manufacturing techniques are needed to develop complete and integrated systems containing mechanically deformable and durable: 1) power sources, 2) sensors, 3) computation and data storage, and 4) electrically conductive system component “wires” and interconnects."