People Twitter @sh.itjust.works The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world 1 mo. ago

Barely holding everything together

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Remember, you're a ghost piloting a walking tent of bone, blood, and flesh using a grey jelly computer running on ConfusedMeat_OS.

As is everyone and everything living that you know.
- Also, you're being co-habited by just a massive amount of bacteria, each of which has their own priorities.
  
  I like to think of myself as a walking city. Makes me feel important.
  
  Consider them crew
- God someone stitch the blood donation post under that
  
  I think I missed that one
- Conspiracy by Big Jenga
- today's meta is jenga posting
- capitalism trying to extract as much blood from humans as possible
Literally just got out of the hospital from a fall in the bathroom the other day. Got to ride the wee woo wagon and everything and don't remember any of it.

Edit: I've got two black eyes, what'll probably be a forehead scar, and a very sore body.
- Oh and we've got some drywall work to do because while I got the blood stains off (apparently made a bit of a mess after I got knocked unconscious), I also ripped the toilet paper holder off the wall and put a good hit in on the heater in the fall. Got pictures too if anybody ever thinks the infomercials about seniors falling were being overdramatic, I'm in my 20s.
  
  Morbidly curious about those pictures.
- Got to ride the wee woo wagon
  
  AKA Amberlamps
  
  Bambalance!
I don't like that so many shower doors are glass. I can't stop myself constantly imagining a Final Destination situation where I slip, fall into the door, shatter the glass and decapitate myself.
- I like to dance in the shower. I'm basically driving behind the logging truck.
  
  A logging truck is probably safe to follow, an 8m log isn't going to slide off the stack
- I believe they're usually tempered so they don't break in large pieces. They usually shatter into small rounded pieces. Source: My cousin broke our shower stall.
I was on digging trenches in the yard for sprinklers when my then girlfriend came out onto the porch. She was kind of staring off into space. "What's up?" " I just got a phone call. My mom died." "Congratulations." "Thank you."

She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one. Mom had slipped and died in her bathroom.
- She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one.
  
  Talk about high risk low to medium reward, holy shit what a daredevil
  
  Each person that has ever dated me has understood that I will never react appropriately in a social situation. Not because I act out of spite but because I have zero clue as to what I'm doing.
Sometimes people fall from an aircraft and bounce jovially off the ground; sometimes people turn their heads too quickly and tear the fabric keeping their windpipe in place.
- boioioioing
  yeehee!
Or when you're on the treadmill and then one of your steps is an inch too far to the side.
Them internal organs be poppin'
MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
What if I'm taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap?

OH MY GOD I'D BE KILLED!
- By the colonel, in the kitchen, with a giant vibrator.
  
  Sounds like a fun weekend

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