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This is me. Help how do i do stuff?
Stimulants.... Or lots of coffee... I mean loooots of coffee
Coffee did not help me. A few years ago i was averaging 2 liters of coffee per day it was a real problem. I don't drink coffee anymore.
Have you talked with a psychiatrist and gotten a diagnosis yet? That's a good step to take towards helping yourself, but start with your own doctor of you haven't already, and get a referral (or however it works in your country). If you have ADHD it's often that the brain is underestimated hence stimulants work wonders for ADHD to get the brain knocked back on track. You'd probably need to try a variety of stimulants to find what works for you even within the same family of stimulants like release times and brands, small variations can make you react differently.
I wish you the best and hope you'll find something that works. This forum is a great source of help and motivation.
I dont have a general doctor and last time I tried to get help I got profiled as a drug seeker. Its really turned me off trying to get help but maybe I should try again
Definitely try again. I had a stupid doctor as well and it took me way too long to change it and get proper help. I was so depressed and really bad when I finally got my shit together over 2 years later. I begged for help and told my girlfriend to please not let me slide out of this.
Let me be your push to try again, because everyone deserves help and to be taken seriously. You NEED to go again and insist. Don't budge. Be the "worst side of yourself" and by that I mean don't try to hide anything. There's no reason to try and appear strong and "well functioning" towards your doctor like you are probably used to doing for everyone else. Tell your doctor about every small little detail of your life that is inhibing you, and tell about all the stupid small stuff you do that you probably barely even notice yourself, like constant fidgeting or thought processes flying crazy for no reason or whatever it might be in your case.
Let the hyperfocus consume you towards getting help😄 and I mean that in the best way possible.
I've been there myself and in hindsight I wish someone would have pushed me harder to go get help and insisted I should not give up..
There's no reason to try and appear strong and "well functioning" towards your doctor like you are probably used to doing for everyone else.
Just wanted to add onto this something I only recently found out about myself, and I can't imagine I'm alone in this. There really isn't a "mask off" version of "me," because I started so early and it's been so long (I'm in my 40s). I basically grew around the mask. When the mask is gone, it's shattered. What's left of "me" at that point is just a quivering pile of trauma, repression, guilt/shame, and maladaptive coping skills. There's no in-between, just high- and non-functioning.
Yes, I am in therapy working on it. Double yes, it makes it difficult for anyone to believe that there's anything amiss until I break. Tis no fun.
It's good to hear you get help. This story just speaks volumes to how important it is to get help as early as possible and to learn to drop the mask and let go when you need to. Wish you the best.
last time I tried to get help I got profiled as a drug seeker.
This is so dumb and lazy, because of course you are seeking a drug, but they have tests they can throw at you that will pretty readily identify if the drug is appropriate for your needs..
Like if they had another actually workable treatment option that wasn’t just “feel really bad about not being able to do things and we’ll teach you how to live with that feeling!” Then fine, we’d all do that and not seek the drugs.. but it’s really not our fault that we need stimulants.
So dumb. Anyway, as others have told you, don’t let that one dumbass deter you. As outlined above, they are clearly dumb.
I got put on Ritalin. Was told it's a miracle drug. All it does is make me extra nervous and jittery but it doesn't help my (lack of) motivation at all.
Sounds like it could be too high a dose if you get jittery, been there at 30-40mg but 20mg + 10mg both extended release later in the day works really well for me.
Remember that the way Ritalin (methylphenidate) works is not by boosting dopamin but rather slow down dopamin uptake. You still need to create the first "spark of dopamin" yourself that then slowly snowballs itself stronger. I'd say you need to take it at least a few days to weeks to see an effect and learn how it affects you. Start at just 10 to 20mg. Otherwise try another variation of methylphenidate like concerta or medikinet.
Medication + therapy is the magic combo. Adderall was the magic bullet for me but I was lucky, and I hate that it only works for a limited time each day. And even then, it just makes actually doing things not suck. The drive, time management, and understanding what motivates me all come from therapy
The best analogy I found was it's like wading through a river to get to the other side. Medicine gets you out of the river, but you need therapy to find the bridge and cross it.
Free time helps. But also, finding other people in the hobby/trade to work with helps. Being in a book club is nice, because talking about the book you read can be as much fun as reading the book. Same with art.
I feel like watching new movies is a no-brainer, though. I might suggest pulling from the Criterion Collection on random, maybe by genre. But it's often fun to watch this stuff with other people.
Got my wife into old movies for a minute. "Bringing up Baby" and "One Two Three" managed to hold up after over 60 years. Give those two a shot.
Some people say "hack yourself" ... create a TODO list in anyway you like. First thing on that list is to "create a list" and cross that off after you've listed some items.
Keep the items small and doable. Going outside or watch a movie isn't a "big" item but it's worth on this list damnit!
Don't be down on yourself for any reason about doing nothing on the list. If you are, recognize that you did that, forgive yourself for feeling that way and try again. Feel free to throw out items and put even simpler tasks on it, if you can.
Doesn't work for everyone, but it does work for some.