This is something I've discovered about myself lately and I'm now trying to tackle, and hopefully start to dismantle.
I did a fuck up the other day and may have unintentionally offended someone (a combination of mental and sensory overload led to a louder than expected verbal outburst of frustration)
I've put out an apology and have asked for an accommodation to help with the sensory aspect, but I'm still churning inside and over thinking because of my shitty social and communication 'skills'
Thanks for your comment, it sums things up 'perfectly' 🤣
Funny. I've always been proud of understanding things deeper than people around me (or trying).
But at the same time those people around would treat as something miserable the fact that I don't even try to remember dates, numbers, names, other specific facts not necessary for understanding the whole architecture. I'm fine with that context, but it's obvious.
I’ve grown up with people around me constantly telling and shaming me for doing things wrong or only wanting to half-ass it, even if I just wanted to try something new.
It’s hard getting out of that mindset, especially since its now just me psyching myself out mentally, but it helped seeing this post