These new food fads are getting out of control

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Kids these days will use a bowl when they have two perfectly good hands.
- Kids these days will ~~use a bowl~~ be multicellular and they don't remember the good 'ol days when we were single cell organisms.
  something something the mitochondria is a liberal lie
  /j
- Grog want know what make bowl good and hand bad. Hand not good last day? Hand good day and night, bowl come, bowl break, bowl go. Grog eat with hand, not bowl
  
  [Diogenes of Sinope] destroyed the single wooden bowl he possessed on seeing a peasant boy drink from the hollow of his hands. He then exclaimed: "Fool that I am, to have been carrying superfluous baggage all this time!"
I ate my dinner off of a piece of bread and my father ate his dinner off of a piece of bread and his father ate his dinner off of a pancake. I'll be damned if I use any of this modern "ceramics."
- I’ve started eating my dinner between two pieces of bread. Very convenient!
  
  We should make you an earl and name some islands after you
  
  Insanity. But they do insane things on the Tin Island.
  
  This is perfection. Perfection! Mark my words: Our dependents will do this for many winters to come, and beyond!
- And the best part? No need to wash the dishes!
Clearly an improvement on the plate, as food was always falling off. And soup is just impossible!
- You just make a hole in your bread loaf and pour the soup in. What are you, a steppe nomad?
  
  That's where I got the idea for the bowl!
- Wait wait wait a second... What came first: the soup or the bowl?
What's next, spoons?!
- What is that? Like a tiny bowl with a handle?
A big mug is superior to a bowl.
- I used to be in the same boat. Then I discovered quilted bowl cozies.
  
  Have you considered "cup bowl"?
Funny how that was news 6 years ago. Now it's just so normal
Cup water is hot new trend where you eat water out of cup.
What's next, picking the food up from the 'bowl' with a tiny trident or a stick? What do these kids think they have hands for?

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