Is life in a big city what I think it is or am I just dreaming?

Central Oslo resident:

• Gym is about 8 minutes by bike away. I've gone to gyms further away to train with my PL club but ultimately the gym between here and work wins out (work is about 10 minutes by bike away).
• Groceries are usually five minutes by foot away. Within ten minutes on bike I have access to bigger and more specialized shops.
• There are plenty of bars within walking distance, with various concepts, so we can visit one we're in the mood for.
• Quiz nights in bars are generally packed. They also frequently have board games available, but I tend to ignore them.
• It's actually pretty quiet here. There are some noisy party streets, but you more or less just need to live a block or two away to not hear any of it.
• We also have plenty of parks and easy access to the waterfront for Sunday Spaziergang and swimming.
• IMO Oslo could learn a bit from German cafe/Konditorei-culture. We have good coffee pretty much anywhere, and some good pastries here and there, but not their cake selection. There's also plenty of restaurants around, again within walking distance. Depending on our mood we can just get a döner and watch Star Trek at home, or we could go out to eat at something mentioned in the Michelin guide, or something in between, or even get Foodora. (The Frau was severely pleased when one of her favourite places got a Bib Gourmand.)

A significant difference for the household economy is if you can own your home in the city and not have to own a car. The home will appreciate, while a car depreciates. Generally energy costs will also be lower if you share walls with your neighbours. And, of course, being two helps. Living with a friend or two in a collective is pretty common.

But also going to work and getting groceries is something almost all of us have to deal with. We have to wipe our asses in the city, just like everywhere else.

The bathrooms in the building need to be refurbished and I'm actually thinking of getting a Japanese style toilet with a built-in bidet.

I moved from a smaller city (~100k) to a bigger city (>2m). These are the biggest pros as I see it:

• Better jobs. I would never have had the kind of career growth I had staying where I used to live.
• Possibility to live without a car. I can walk/bike/take transit everywhere, without compromising on convenience. This saves me a lot of money and gives me lots of "free" exercise.
• More people who share my interests in the vicinity.
• Closer to the largest airport in my country, giving me convenient access to travel the world.
• An unending amount of nice restaurants with different foods to taste.

Neutral points which people like but don't really matter that much to me:

• Bigger dating scene. I already have a long-term partner so this doesn't benefit me.
• More expansive nightlife. My personal limit is basically bars where I can talk to friends, and the occasional karaoke. The night clubs and related activities do not really interest me.

Cons:

• The housing costs are more expensive than where I used to live. With the increase in income I still make it out way, way ahead, but it's a notable tradeoff.
• If I want to visit some of my family members, I need to take a train for several hours.

On balance, the pros far outweigh the cons for me, and I will likely be staying in the city for a long time.

May I suggest a compromise. Apparently that town of 50k has most of the things you miss.

You don't have to move to a huge city (1+ million). Moving to a small city would still let you keep some of the peace, and likely you could also have a house with a yard although in a denser environment.

SW London zone 3

Time to work on tube, 20mins

Can bike if wanted to. there are lots of on-street electric bike hire options, to the extent don't need to plan in advance there's always one there.

Biking is safe, on main routes there are protected lanes. On others the traffic goes too slow to be much of a problem.

3 close friends live within 10 mins bike ride, 20 mins walk. I can drive but bike is much more convenient unless it's tipping down

Gym 5 mins walk

Numerous great pubs within minutes walk

Parks, riverside walks

Many music venues, performances, artistic events local and within ten mins walk

Can get to West End in about half an hour, endless options, though they cost

There's a large supermarket on the next road over though I tend to get delivery

I've also lived in a small town (<5000) on the outskirts of a larger UK town (300,000). And while life is 'slower' and in some senses more attractive there is far less to do. It takes ages getting anywhere unless driving. Some main bus routes to the villages are surprisingly frequent (6 an hour). But if you're trying to go anywhere off the main route changing onto infrequent services takes forever. No local interest / hobby groups that interest me etc.

I much prefer the options on hand living in a nice part of London. It costs though. I wouldn't settle in London for less than £85k. (I would accept less and less pleasant living if I was building my career as this pays off, but I'm past that now)

I lived in the capital of my country for about 6 months and even though everything was generally located closer, the travel still took me the same time if not even longer. Keeping car is expensive there and traffic is much worse. Public transport here is much better than almost anywhere else in the world but it's still public transport. Having your own car is infinitely better.

It might depend on the town. I live in a small town, it takes me 15 minutes to walk to work, there is a gym closer, a grocery store a little farther, a bank, hardware, some restaurants. That is All very nice! But for the social things you mention, I would have to go to the next town, about an hour away by car. I go sometimes but otherwise enjoy solitude. And the internet obviously 🙂 I have never lived in a big city, but have lived in bigger towns, and the food options and social life are better, even at 5000 people. In the US, folks in small tend to be insular, but given time they will open up and be friendly.

Did you post the exact same text a few months ago, or are there already recycling bots active on Lemmy?

I have lived in small towns (smallest: about 3000 population) and in big cities (largest: about 14,000,000 population). I have family who live so rustically that even a small town is an hour's drive away.

I like all three situations for different reasons, albeit for the rustic life only in short bursts of two months or so.

Overall I'd say I'm a "city girl", but if I have a decent Internet connection I probably would enjoy small town life more since I'm aging and slowing down. There would be some adjustment, of course, to not being near hot spots and good restaurants and such, but it would also give me the peace and quiet to actually catch up on reading the books I've accumulated over the years and getting practice time in on the instruments I want to learn.

So you're only missing out if you really want those things. But don't think that you're going to have more time to do things in the city. As plenty of others have pointed out, the realities of traffic in most cities are such that you'll face long transit times anyway, although if you live in a place that has actual public transit that gets mitigated quite a bit; I can cross the megacity I live in now from extreme ends in just over an hour; most of the places I want to go I can be at in under 15 minutes, the majority of these being even in walking distance.

I live in Denver, Colorado, and absolutely love it about 85% of the time. It’s more of a mid-sized city, but everything is in walking distance, I find it easy to meet people, there’s lots to do, and pretty direct access to nature and culture, and public transportation is reasonable…definitely room for improvement though. Yeah, it can be loud at times, and there’s crime, and homeless issues, but overall I prefer this to the more rural areas I’ve lived in. I’ve been here about 20 years. But it’s really a personal preference, some people hate it. It’s more expensive in certain ways, but I don’t need to own a car, and use a lot of public services, like the library, to help offset things.

Depends on the city you’re looking to move to. To give you some perspective - I live in a city, but city sprawl in the US is insane that to go anywhere (grocery, restaurant, bar, etc.), it takes a 12-15 minute drive minimum just to get out of my neighborhood and get to the nearest place of activity. Sure, that’s just half of your drive to the next town, but I literally live in the city and what is considered a great location relative to the downtown area.

Now obviously city life is way different in Europe where you’ll likely have great public transportation and places are closer to each other. If you’re willing to accept the trade off of less space, more noise, and more expensive, for convenience, meeting new people, and better accessibility to places, I’d say go for it.

I live in a small town in europe, built a house and well it takes me about 25 minutes to the next bigger city (not huge one, lets say 50.000 people live there.

I sometimes find myself getting frustrated because the next gym is 7 minute drive by car to another smaller town.

It took me about 15min to get to a furry meetup today. I live in the same city as the meetup. I have a friend who regularly drives across town to see their boyfriend. They're over an hour away from each other. They live in the same county iirc.

That's just how things go.

As for cost, look into parks and stuff like that. Meet people at parks or libraries. If nothing exists, start something. Distribute pamphlets. Look for hobby sites that let you advertise meetups. Go on dating sites and invite a bunch of people to a date at the same place so y'all can play Mario kart together. Pass out flyers. You can do it!

My town in the US is exactly the same. Personally I think it sucks. I assume your town in Europe may be much prettier than mine too. Mine only has crappy city and beautiful nature. Recently traveled to my place in China, a “small” town of a mil. It’s so much nicer! Everything is walkable and life is much more pleasant. I feel depressed in my drive everywhere crappy American city.