Can you be a contrarian to your own views?

Why would being somewhat contrarian be an issue to you? I like constantly thinking about all aspects of life

Zero self awareness. This post is not actually about what it claims.

Absolutely. I have a SUV and I fucking hate it. It takes too much space and is terrible for the environment.

But our other car died at the peak of used market during COVID and my sister offered us a deal (4000$ under market price, making it a lot better than beat ups in the market).

I work for companies I don't align with, otherwise I wouldn't be working much.

We make due with the circumstances and we navigate the best we can even if that means going against our values, because the alternative is worse

I have two cars, but I actually hate cars.

I have two cars, I love cars, but I'd love to see an end to our car dependent society.

Late stage capitalism sucks, yet I have a corporate middle management job and I drink Coke and I drive a Toyota and I'm surfing Lemmy on a Google device. I don't think I'm trolling. And I don't know if it's even that contrarian. "There is no ethical consumption under capitalism"; unless I am ready to die, I have to participate in the system.

Cognitive dissonance may be something you want to read about OP

Would it necessarily be you being a contrarian to your own views if there was a reasoning for it? For example, I have a friend who has had a job as a chef yet ethically will tell you food should be eaten for nutrition and never for pleasure. Many who are thrown off by this ask why, and he says it's because sometimes "food fancification" can serve as a gateway to what is important if used methodologically. When we first became friends, he knew I often did what amounted to stress-starving, and he would imply opposition to this and try to "sway" me with the best food I've ever had. So there's always such nuance.

Another friend of mine, my other best friend, has been a door-to-door officer, and yet probably will never pass a physical exam. Was it based on a shortage of applicants? Does she have some kind of unsung skill? Who knows, but in a city where the ACAB philosophy is said to persist, many have noticed people on parole aren't nearly as at unease around her due to her "meekness" (which might not always be a good thing, but whatever), so she is a favorite pick. The two best friends also go spelunking in their spare time, despite, again, one being "meek" and both lacking certain expected traits, and they are probably five miles below my feet right now.

I am in what many have called a similar situation. I've always been stereotyped in peoples' minds as being susceptible to stage fright, so along comes my teen-ish years when I got my occupation and it amounts to working at a media company. It throws people off for some reason, at least until they realize the avoidable circumstances don't have to apply in every instance of someone being in that work. You make do with what you can.

Many times, what one might call a conflict of interest or a double standard or whatever you want to call it doesn't exist.

Sounds like a case of exceptionalism to me. Your own rules don't apply to you because you're special.

I'm pretty sure that's called ambivalence and core to every human. Or you're just miserable, that's hard to tell.

This might be the most up it's own ass post(er) I've ever seen on Lemmy, congrats!

The word that you're avoiding here - and please don't take this as a criticism; I have zero opinions about you or whether this word applies to you based on your post - but there is a word that very exactly denotes what you're describing, which is "hypocrisy".

Maybe you just don't like yourself very much.

I judge people who always talk about hobby projects but rarely or never even start on them. I hate that about myself as well!

A contrarian, at least in the general, interpersonal social context, is someone who simply defaults toward taking the opposite viewpoint of whatever they believe is the most popular or most widely accepted.

Oh you like blue?

Well I like red!

Oh you like chocolate?

Well I like vanilla!

It can also mean that you don't always do this as a kneejerk reaction or instinct regardless of the situation or topic or idea, but that have a single, or number of views which go against the broad consensus of some kind of academic or profeasional field.

You are not describing contrarianism.

You are describing hypocrisy and duplicity.

You have sets of standards or preferences which you apply to everyone other than yourself, you have preformed negative judgements (stereotypes) about people who fall into the same categories you do, you own possessions which you state you own entirely by choice and not out of necessity, yet you despise these possesions.

Hypocrisy.

You hide your own activites from others so that others cannot easily call you out as a hypocrite.

Duplicity.

If you are trolling anyone, you are trolling yourself.

EDIT: Possibly a more charitable interpretation for at least some of this is that you are very anti-social and simply don't enjoy talking to people, and that could stem from trauma. Nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be left alone and not interact with people.

But if you truly do not actually need two cars, you truly could just move somewhere it doesn't snow so often, I don't see why you don't just do that, move somewhere else, sell either or both of your cars.