Just got diagnosed with ADHD thanks to this community
I would just like to express my gratitude to everyone for sending me down a rabbit hole of research after reading many comments and relating to almost every single meme that was posted.
After my diagnosis, I have a plan moving forward to help better my decisions and what I should do next. Do it if you are questioning and can afford it, is what I would say!
Welcome to the club. As someone on my 14th year of diagnosis. It’s a journey that opens your eyes to the misdeeds of adults in our younger years. Who never really gave us the necessary help we needed.
Take it a little easy on that.
Unless you have adults that actively ignored or knew you had ADHD and refused to deal with it you’ve got to cut people a little slack. There’s centuries of raising kids where people forced them to conform, for good or ill. Centuries where adhd was not recognized. Centuries of sweeping mental differences under the rug. They just didn’t know.
We’re barely starting to acknowledge and accept mental health and non-normative brain wiring today, and there are still huge numbers of people that refuse to accept it, want to force conformity, or have some BS clickbait “treatment” for it.
My family is late diagnosis. It really hurt my other half because her parents knew but did nothing. She felt like years of her life were wasted because she never could stick with things that would have advanced her life in positive ways. I was an “inattentive” type that was essentially unrecognized because I wasn’t hyper. No fault of my parents because it wasn’t a thing to look for 40 odd years ago. Now I fit the diagnosis to a T. Even one of our own kids had issues that took us years to figure out even after suspicions on our part. Took the kid to local specialists and they’re all “Nah, normal but difficult kid.” Years more go by with lots of problems and we’re fed up, pay a fortune out of pocket (because insurance doesn’t cover mental treatment if it isn’t a problem) to a legit children’s specialist facility in a metro area and within a week we had a proper diagnosis, things have improved with the kid and our relationship with the kid drastically over the intervening years. Point being that, even though we tried to get a diagnosis it didn’t work, and we had to go out of our way, even if we were unsure of the issue, and spend a lot of money to figure it out. Not everyone has that kind of time, money, or stamina to sort out a difficult kid after already being told the kid is “normal”.
Sorry, WoT response, just offering a perspective.
Samesies! (Sort of, am still on the waiting list.) I used to think: "these stupid "adhd" memes are not specific to ADHD at all, I'm normal and I experience life exactly like this!" Only to realise that not everyone experiences life like this and I am not normal.
Honestly grateful too for everyone here for validating my feelings and making me feel more okay about myself. It has been quite confrontational to realise that what I thought was my identity was actually a disorder, but at the same time quite comforting to know that my struggles are something I can learn to deal with
When I realised I had ADHD, being able to recontextualise my struggles and set aside all the negative self talk allowed me to see that actually, there are parts of my ADHD-ness that I think are really cool. For example, I found it useful to have multiple tasks on my "menu" for a given day, so that I can cycle between them and not get burnt out on any one task. As well as being a strategy to cope with some of my ADHD deficits, it turns out that putting a tricky problem on a back-burner while I focus on something completely different is a great way to generate new ideas and connections about the original task.
Have you found anything like that so far? It took me a while to get to that point, but I think it's part of the liberation of neurodiversity as a framework — it's a way of acknowledging the quirks of our brains in a way that isn't constrained to thinking of ADHD as a disorder.
I've always thought about getting tested for it but I have no idea where to start. Like, do I have to go to a specific place and see a specific specialist? How do I even find such a place? Also I'm kinda scared of most medications and don't really want anything too intense. If I do have ADHD it's not like I can't function right now so I'm unsure if I should even get tested. I just wish that I'd spend more time and effort on my hobbies. These days I go hard on one of them for a good couple days or weeks and then not touch them again for months or longer.
Just to add: education and diagnosis is getting better, but there are still a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists who have little to no education on adult ADHD. They can use the diagnostic criteria meant for children and often get it wrong. You may find a provider who has updated their education, but the best chance of an accurate diagnosis is to look for somebody that specializes in diagnosing adult ADHD specifically. If the diagnosis involves a detailed history and several appointments with multiple tests, that's a good sign. If it's just regular 30-60 minute meetings where you talk and they say you don't have it, get a second opinion from someone who specializes in this.
You see a psychologist (not a psychiatrist). And probably don't lead with "I think I may have ADHD". Instead have a list of things you find challenging in your daily life. Focus on these things, looking for ways to manage or mitigate those difficulties. Quite often this means developing habits to address things, such as always putting your keys/wallet/phone in a specific place.
Look at medications like using a crutch for a broken leg. It helps so you can work on strengthening where you're weak. In ADHD terms that means developing those habits and routines to help reign in the chaos. Everyone is different when it comes to meds, which ones work, and how long you use them. Some people only take meds during the week, and are ok over the weekend. Some take meds that require being taken consistently, every day. Some people have problematic side affects, some don't.
do I have to go to a specific place and see a specific specialist?
I am not sure where you are located, but I was able to get tested in NYC through my job. I would suggest for you to search online for ADHD testing and see what comes up, first good step.
Also I'm kinda scared of most medications and don't really want anything too intense.
I informed my doctor I do not like the idea of taking medication, but if it would help me function better, I just have to face the music and try it out. I'll follow up later and let you know how that goes.
If I do have ADHD it's not like I can't function right now so I'm unsure if I should even get tested. I just wish that I'd spend more time and effort on my hobbies.
I had the same feeling and was told I am high functioning with a mild case of ADHD. I'll see what next steps I want to take in regards to medication once I get access to the full report.
These days I go hard on one of them for a good couple days or weeks and then not touch them again for months or longer.
are you me??? lol
Start with your primary care doctor! I asked at my annual exam and had a list of things I had noticed I was struggling with and he saved me the hassle of a second appointment. It did help that most of my issues were inattentive based and VERY obvious from what I’ve been told.
He prescribed a non-stimulant which was also nice but if he hadn’t been my doc for a while he would’ve just given me a referral to who I needed to go to.
Memes are truly the DNA of the soul
I always wanted to write a message like this but.... I have ADHD so never really got around to do it and in my mind I thought I already did.
One of us! One of us!
I feel like I am days or weeks from posting a similar message. I'm on my own journey that was ultimately started by similar experiences with this community