*Crow joke here*

Eat all the juveniles
- Crows are attentive parents and there is no indication or support of what you so slanderously insinuate.
  
  Well I got bird house nests with blue tit juveniles on my balcony every year. They are very attentive at any chance eating them.

Crows are so shy, it's too cute! They're like cats, if you stare at them or lock eyes, they get really nervous. So slowly close your eyes and look away to put then at ease. If you pull out food they like, like peanuts in their shell, you can almost see a little exclamation mark appearing above their heads, like 🥜 ❗ 🐦‍⬛
- All Corvids Are Beautiful

I saw a crow this morning carry a French fry up to the roof then look at it for a bit and hopefully around listening for it's buddies then it just flew off and let the fry roll into the gutter

Turn up on mass when one is in trouble
- en masse
  
  Happend in my street last year, chick didn't quite have flying down and fell out, local cat going for a stroll got suppressed under a car from the crow mafia that had turned up.

reward your slowly growing army of loyal followers with random trinkets of arbitrary and sentimental value

This spring alone I have seen crows harrass buzzards and even a heron.
They all fled of course, the heron looked like it was in some trouble as it could barely avoid the buildings in its way.

I like watching the grackles go about their morning routine, but I rarely see true crows where I'm at.

Destroy the eggs of every bird nest you can find so your crow family can be the only species of bird for miles.
- It's not quite as bad as you make it seem. Yes, crows prey on nests with eggs and young. They also prey on adult birds. As do most predators you can name: snakes, opossums, cats, etc etc.
  They themselves are prey, with only sbout half of all crows making it to adulthood. Rarely are they responsible for "wiping out" other species. They do it sometimes, rarely, but it is not more so than other predators
  
  I'll keep shooting them every season and they don't have a bag limit after all. Fuck Corvids, they're just as bad as cats for the environment.