AMERICAN POPE LETS GO

PAPA BLESS

Blessed is the round, and blessed is the cartridge for it holds the round and all of its fury
\ Blessed is the magazine for receiving the round and holding it close.
\ Blessed is the barrel, for providing direction and guidance to the round
\ And most of all, blessed is Kurt Cobain for giving the round purpose, and for receiving all of its love within his body 😌
- I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye...
- This is my rifle
  This is my nun
  This is for shooting
  This is for fun
- Yes I know, it was a shotty.
- Apparently the way to make suicide jokes still funny in 2025 is to have had it happen in the 90s and for the person to be famous and queer?
  
  Cobain was queer? Neat...
  
  what does him being queer have to do with it?
  Also people are now making jokes about 9/11. Tragedy turns into comedy after 20 years.
  
  Huh?
  
  Were they not supposed to be funny normally?
  Are we not all on the brink?

🎶Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition 🎶

Baptizing converts in Jack Danials and performing exorcisms using the US constitution, let's f***ing go
- farting? ...no it's fishing isn't it.
  
  fisting

The Vatican is such a huge scandalous and r@py real estate conglomerate. It's crazy that in 2025 hardly anyone is pointing it out. Goes to show theres still lots of preconceived notions that needs to be addressed
- It’s crazy that in 2025 hardly anyone is pointing it out.
  Are you living under a rock?
- My mom is Catholic and called him another diddler lol.

By the grace of the Omnissiah

There is no hand grenade in the picture, I call bullshit
- The holy hand grenade of Antioch is a Anglican relic you absolute dolt.
  
  Yeah - there's actual video evidence of it exploding! Unfortunately that means that it no longer exists, so that would explain why it's absent from the Pope's blessèd gun rack.
  
  The Anglicans of 932?
  
  Who are the angles? I didn't vote for them.

This has actually happened many times in history and recently. So this image might be real.
- https://www.facebook.com/100064566290627/posts/2056680241038122/
  Reverse image search.
  
  For those who don’t want to visit Facebook:
  The priest is blessing hunting rifles at the beginning of the season so that they will provide food and not harm people.
- I've seen this image pre AI, could still be photoshopped, but not necessarily
  
  It could also just be good old fashioned acting...

Do they deal holy damage now?
- +10 holy damage +3 critical hit chance +2 accuracy -5 damage against atheists
  
  How much damage can a human take though?
  Based on these stats, going to guess 10-15HP, tops.
  
  Bad news on the religious beliefs of deer.....
  
  Meaning, they still hurt?

Sigh. I would dearly love a proper bolt-action rifle. I've got a .22 (my first gun!) and a .22 magnum (left handed!), but zero excuse for a "real" caliber as I don't hunt and my range at camp only goes out 100'.
Love the Marlin 1895SBL from Jurassic Park but I'm not hunting dinosaurs or 2,000lb. bison. Plus, the .45-70 (AR-15 round on the far left) would probably amputate my skinny armpit.
More on point, the first American Pope! I'll look forward to reading more about how the College of Cardinals landed on this guy so quickly. Not sure I've seen a Pope chosen that fast!
- If you want a lot of fun at the range, blackpowder is a riot.
- look into a .270. not a small caliber when you're used to a 22 but not massive in the whole scheme of things. they're quite fun at that range you were describing too, and they give you the opportunity to go a lot longer if you ever need/want it.
  a .270 was my first hunting rifle, if a scrawny 11 year old could use it I have faith in you :)
  
  .270 is a neat caliber. I rarely hear about it (not that I frequent gun discussions) but am familiar with it because that’s the caliber of my dad’s deer hunting rifle which also belonged to my WW2 veteran grandfather.
  And yeah it’s not very comparable to a 22 except for starting with a two. It’s a high powered rifle. You can think of it like a .30-06 but with a slightly smaller and faster bullet.
- I haven't shot a 45-70 but I have a 35rem and have shot a breech load 450 bushmaster. It'll put a little sting on you but it's not that bad. Just make sure to keep the butt of the stick firm against your shoulder. I wouldn't want more than 5 or 6 rounds at a time on the 450 though.

We have an American Pope. But it not being Micheal Ian Black is a wound my younger self may never recover from.

Are there any other tables he blessed besides just bolt actions? Disappointing.
/s