I know people don't actually crush living creatures in these but they make me feel so fucking bad when they pop up on my page. Just the thought is fucking disgusting.
we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.
I would have thought crunchy and soft things meant some things that are crunchy AND some things that are soft. Clearly it means things that share both attributes though.
I like this better than those odd ladies that whisper.