What's a secret that you're keeping from your partner/significant other that you're taking to the grave with you?
What's a secret that you're keeping from your partner/significant other that you're taking to the grave with you?
It doesn't have to be anything bad btw
You're viewing a single thread.
If you hold secrets and do not tell the whole thing (even the most disgusting stuff) to your SO... then it means that s/he is not that "special" anymore.
I mean, a relationship is never meant to be one-sided, but a "You and me" thing. And if you don't think like that, then you are doing it wrong.
"So you are telling me to just throw random disgusting stuff to my SO?"
No. Call him/her in particular, "Hey can we talk a bit?". It does wonders, that is all I can say about it.
t. Used to "play the tough guy" back in my early years. Took the "My life is an open book" route. Never looked back since then.
No, there is something called discretion. I don't for example have to tell my wife what I think of her father. She loves him, my kids love him, I think he is a great father-in-law there is zero need for me to comment on his body odor issues to her.
there is something called discretion.
...and I said to call (whoever is troubling you) in particular and bring the issue up = discretion. And using your words well, you can even talk about someone's lack of hygiene/odor.
And I said that it is a pointless conversation to have. Tact is not discretion. Tact is the act of bringing up what needs to be brought up in a face saving way, discretion is not mentioning what doesn't need to be mentioned. There is zero reason to mention this to her so I don't.
Do you seriously do this? Tell your better half literal everything. Like if you noticed her brother was a bit ugly you would definitely make a point of mentioning it to her later.
This whole thing sounds performative and selfish. Like you want to be applauded for it. Have you thought about how she feels? Knowing that any mean nasty observation you might have will be pointed out to her in a passive aggressive way.
And I said that it is a pointless conversation to have.
Why are you bringing so many random problems/issues out of this? That (most likely) not even exist let alone happen? It's just a conversation, not a threat. If anything, it tells a lot about you, heh.
Right couldn't defend your view so you question the motives of mine. Enjoy your selfish performance, I am sure you partner hates it.
"hey, babe, I just wanna vent about my day for a little if that's okay"
"Must you point out every nasty observation in a passive aggressive way? Enjoy your selfish performance"
There's no "motives" when they don't exist -- you just extrapolated the whole thing for the sake of lack of arguments.
And resorting to low blows won't prove you right and neither set me as "wrong", but only show you that you've let yourself get emotionally triggered in a 3 minute long convo.
"It tells a lot about you" indeed. :^)
I rest my case.
Not everything is relevant. Not everything that is truthful is kind. You seem to have this weird idea that you should prioritize your feelings in all things over your partners feelings, rather than understanding that something simply aren't a big deal.
I don't know too many--read: any--marriage and family therapists that would ever suggest you tell your SO every possible thing unless and until it became relevant. There are good reasons that people that practice radical honesty usually don't have many friends.