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"FIRE ALL PORT SIDE GUNS!"
does barrel roll
Spins so fast it generates the energy needed to power the entire ship.
The spin creates a tsunami to deliver even more damage.
Try spinning, that's a good trick
Worked great in pirates of the Caribbean
No. NOPREQUELS. NO.
that's why it has a dozen anchors on each side of the hull. proper preparation prevents piss poor projectiling.
And stops your pewpew from making you go plunk.
That's why navies stopped using broadsides and went to turrets about 150 years ago. Well, it's one of the reasons anyway. Turrets also worked a lot better once you shifted to steam power and didn't have to worry so much about rigging. Additionally, you could mount a much bigger gun on a turret than you could using broadsides on the sides of a wooden sailing ship.
Turrets also prevent what happened to the Vasa, which was the most powerful sailing ship of its time. Its time being 10th August 1626, from 3:40 pm to four o'clock. The king of Sweden ordered it to be made longer, halfway through building it. This scope creep turned out to have negative implications vis-a-vis keeping the gun ports above the waterline.