My family is very ignorant when it comes to dealing with my Autism. Family gatherings (which happen quite frequently) are super uncomfortable for me and nobody seems to get why, despite me explaining it over and over again. My older brother won't even acknowledge me having Asperger's, he just thinks I'm "being weird" on purpose.
I keep telling myself it's useless, they refuse to understand.
... then I keep trying .... T_T .... in vain (15+ years of trying)... but then I try again. I just want to feel understood. I long for the family connection they've told me is so important my whole life .
I have bent my words over backwards and reworded them in every way possible. I’ve used articles, videos, and infographics. I have made dozens of analogies and comparisons to their own lives. I have handed them literal scripts of things they could say. I've ve tried everything I've heard of so far to try and get my family to understand me. It very much feels like I am solidly in a box to them because I see them be understanding to others, to their own family, but never receive the same compassion.
I resonate with this quote:
“Once everyone sees you as a villain, that’s what you are. They only see you one way, no matter how hard you try.”- Nimona
I kinda just stopped trying, now I'm just doing whatever I can to get out of those situations. I don't really care what they think about that any more.
I've tried to make things right for everyone around me all my life, it's time I finally look after myself more.
I don't know how much, if any of this, is due to mental illness.
I've been on depression medication for 7-8yrs and my grandma and uncles will outright dismiss any negative feelings I express at any given time, with a hand wave while saying word-for-word, "just don't be sad," or, "there's other people out there worse off."
Boy, I sure wish it was as simple as just not being that way. I don't like being depressed all the time, and I would gladly just stop if that were possible, but other people's suffering does not invalidate my own, in fact it directly contributes to my depression, as I believe that most of the suffering in the world could be minimized if more people weren't so awful.
Not to mention the things they directly do that cause my depression. I'm the only one in my immediate family that is more of an "indoor person" than I am an "outdoor person." My entire life, when they would check on me in my room, drawing, reading, or especially playing video games, the first question they'd ask is, "wouldn't you rather be outside playing?" No, if I would rather be doing that, I would be doing that.
All of that was even before I grew up and realized that they're effectively brainwashed political cult worshippers, but that's a separate, off-topic issue.
One side of my family is super white and unintentionally very racist. To give an example, they don't hate Native Americans (or anyone for that matter), but will causally refer to them as Indians and seem to think they go around wearing feathered masks in 2023.
My fiancee is Korean, and her English is so-so- which is probably for the best, because if she could understand the things my Grandfather randomly splurts out she would rightfully be quite offended.
But there's no malice, only ignorance. My fiancee and I pick our battles and let it slide.
Member of a family of progressives: there's no stigma per se in my family about my autism, but sometimes I act different and they don't understand and I can't explain. That means sometimes ppl get angry / annoyed / confused / etc. because of something I can't control, and sometimes they don't understand why as well.
There's never been a solution. I try explaining it but how do you explain what's different between you and another person when it's so native to you and you don't have a comparison.
There are a number of things different parts of my family took a while to comprehend, from my sleep inconstiencies to my asexuality to my almost-perpetual emotional blankness. I'm not discriminated for these, just criticized, sometimes with assumptions taking a disastrous turn.
I don't know about stigma, but the whole family is just vaguely dysfunctional. We can't really spend any time together for more than a couple of hours before someone starts a fight, generally (but not always) on accident.