So, I'm just assuming we've all seen the discussions about the bear.
Personally I feel that this is an opportunity for everyone to stop and think a little about it.
The knee-jerk reaction from many men seems to be something along the lines of "You would choose a dangerous animal over me? That makes me feel bad about myself." which results in endless comments of the "Akchully... according to Bayes theorem you are much more likely to..." kind.
It should be clear by now that it doesn't lead to good places.
Maybe, and I'm open to being wrong, but maybe the real message is women saying: "We are scared of unknown men."
Then, if that is the message intended, what do we do next? Maybe the best thing is just to listen. To ask questions. What have you experienced to make you feel that way?
I firmly believe that the empathy we give lays a foundation for other people being willing to have empathy for the things we try to communicate.
It doesn't mean we should feel bad about ourselves, but just to recognize that someone is trying to say something, and it's not a technical discussion about bears.
What do you think?
Am I not allowed to be upset because I hate that this is the world we're living in? My knee-jerk reaction does make me feel bad about myself because I know that even if I'd never be part of the problem, I'll still be judged as though I am, based on my height, weight, looks etc. I've caused people fear or intimidation or concern just by being around in the public sphere, where I'd never hurt a fly but people don't know that.
I've understood for decades that women have absolutely legit issues with men, and I've done my part to correct bad behaviour in my fellow men, wherever possible.
I've been an "unknown man" all my life and I've seen the effects of it on women, and it's always made me feel awful. And it still does. I hate this "man or bear" conversation.
What you write resonates with how I feel too. It's not fair, is it? I think there's a discussion that must happen, in the future. But right now, it's too inflamed, it's not possible. Then the question is, how do we get there? Can we get there without losing ourselves?
You hate the "man or bear" conversation. Imagine how much women must hate it, knowing that you and other "good men" will bemoan their feelings as soon as they express them. Think about how chilling that is to their concerns; how they have to walk on eggshells even around "good men" when they want voice legitimate concerns.
Yes, the bear is a hungry carnivore that will murder without the slightest emotion.
But I need you to understand: women don't 100% walk on eggshells around Good Men, no "quotes" needed, in all situations at all times. The women I grew up with regularly expressed their feelings, and when guys made them feel threatened, or awful, other guys would hear about it, have empathy, and understand, and they'd learn. I call out toxic masculinity ASAP, whenever I see it, and I've ended friendships because of it.
I know how threatening I can be with my height and my build. But if you're going to say my feelings are 100% invalid because of my gender and I shouldn't speak my mind and my role is to listen only? That's fascism.
Few bears hunt mammals (but we've all seen photos of them hunting fish) but when they do, they hunt young deer/elk/moose, and are more likely to scavenge winter kills or fresh kills made by others (wolves/big cats/etc.).
Dude, get some therapy. The world isn't as harsh and bleak as you imply, and if your life experience hasn't already shown you that, you need to stop throwing yourself a pity party and start working on getting better so you can enjoy your life.
My life experience has show me people would rather scream and insult others than recognize and validate experiences and opinions that differ from theirs.