It takes emotional bandwidth to carry hate, whether you think about it often or not.
It's not a question of right or wrong, or whether it's deserving or not. You're paying for it as long as you're carrying it, so I would ask if it's still worth it.
It is for everyone. It's how we work. Outside of maybe certain types of mental illness or disability. It's also very easy to feel like we can carry it without consequence, especially for younger people (I'd say mid-30's and below)
"I can hate someone without it affecting other parts of my life" is just an objectively false statement. I know there is virtually nothing a Lemmy rando can do to change your mind, but one day you'll feel the weight, I promise.
No one is special enough to be able to carry such a core human emotion without consequence.
I'm not trying to argue, but unless there is something about how you process emotions that places you in a vanishingly small percentile, you're gonna pay for it.