ops. Guess you just exposed the fact that i’m lying to myself
Yeah I realized this somewhere in the comments haha sorry everyone :) I'm seriously confused
- You don't bother answering the post
- you don't bother having a mature discussion with the person you're disagreeing with
- not even responding to my answer and explanation, I'm not even sure you bothered to read it or anything else at all
- from the way you spoke here I wouldn't say you're a reader in general, you're just tuned to some other channel and live in your bubble.
- Your hobby is judging other people in other bubbles.
- you probably don't have an answer other than just repeating your slogans, because there's no way to justify your behavior and you probably don't even get it
- you speak with scorn and can't give an answer to discussions unless it permits you to say what you have already prepared. That says a lot about you.
You give yourself the impression of experience and confidence in 'how things are', I actually think you are the naive one. And assuming you're not young since you called me that, I'd say you're the dangerous type of naive.
This has been on my mind!
I'm sorry about your mom. I'm afraid something similar happens to me too, but more with friends. I'm getting out of it, I hope you're doing well too 💓 put feeling good and happy first.
Thinking about the guy, Let's say that he seems a bit superficial to me, FOR NOW. Many good qualities too though.
I know this he could be very different, but still I feel as if there's something telling about this. I myself am not the way I could be and want to be (talking about values, what I stand for, the person I want to be in this world).
He seems to live in a bubble (could turn out I'm wrong, again) or just doesn't show those characteristics that say "open minded, free spirit" or whatever. And that would be limiting to me. And I don't want that in my life anymore, cause it's always little things but then a few years go by and you're stuck and you relationships start deteriorating.
It's starting to get trippy. But how can I possibly know that, what do you mean exactly? That I actually prefer him?
Or it could be that you wish some of these other men were “like him” because you would like to be with them, but unfortunately they didn’t have that same spark with you?
Yes I think this is part of it :( Cause when crying I'm actually crying about the other guys
Whatever I do/create I destroy it. Right now this is happening with my playlists. And it's absurd, because no one listens to them anyway but I keep having days when I feel like I should delete all of them. Then it's my private notebook. Then it's what I write, what I paint, movies I kept track of on an app, and the list goes on.
To be totally honest it's as if I'm afraid I might be insane for keeping these things. Some contain personal things (playlists, notebook) so alright I might want to keep them private, but the real issue is that I do that when I think "oh what will they think?". I don't know what to do, it might sound very stupid but this has really been bothering me since forever.
Because I'm not looking for anyone right now. This happened out of nowhere, and I've needed to be alone for a long time, men, friends, people in general.
He walks his dog, I walk my dog. Same neighborhood.
I always avoid him. One day I accidentally smiled at him and turned red. He kept staring at me with no reaction, when I looked away he said hi and got closer, asked a few questions about my dog. My dog started barking, I went fight-or-flight, answered briefly and escaped
saw him again yesterday, kept trying to avoid him. He comes my way but actually had to go the other way. He was being so different it actually weirded me out. He was sort of clumsy in the way he moved, and usually he seems so self controlled, and he was loud too hahah like talking out loud to his dog but only when I got there. I smiled accidentally again and he asked again about my dog and tried to be funny about her barking. It felt as if he was trying to be fun and friendly? But in a ridiculous way
Predicting some types of answers ("ask him", "how should we know"): I'm not looking for the absolute truth, just opinions :)
Even the way you express yourself and use emphasis... Really I'm happy for you, you surely have no problem in navigating our kind of world.
This is so ridiculous, I'm glad I didn't see this when answering him cause now I get it even better, how ridiculous it is.
That's not what it said at all but good for you people. Your thought says more about the way you are: don't read, don't understand but just speak in the way that gets you approval.
That's NOT the meaning of the message, and before reading this comment I read it and totally got what it meant.
Simply put, one person wasn't that worried about the upvotes but making the message easier = communicating with me, not thinking about how someone could take the initial draft of a thought just to find faults in it and twist it around.
And the other is here just for upvotes, didn't even bother to answer my question ??
We could find faults in anyone's answers here, but obviously you go for what would trigger most people and then you feel happy and satisfied. Even if you had understood the message and was doing it for the right purpose, that's not the way to go about it. And the dynamic is pretty clear, just look at people's reactions... Sad. When something gets hype on the internet there's something wrong with it, just a reminder. Hope this clarifies things a bit.
If people wanted to readn and understand the whole message it is pretty clear, and clearly it was just an initial draft and clearly it could go different ways since he was just outlining his thought, "simple attraction to this, but society (...)" vs "commitment, normality, etc.". And this outline can then be applied to the different things one could be judged for and the different things that different societies find normal.
Don't assume others are as "stupid" as you are. Maybe sometimes it's you who's not comprehending. Also he's talking about judgment and how that is wrong, wtf with you saying he's saying just that? HE WAS TALKING AGAINST THAT.
SINCE LATER IN HIS POST HE TALKED ABOUT SLUT SHAMING IT'S PRETTY CLEAR HIS MESSAGE WAS NOT TO BE READ THE WAY YOU WANTED TO, CAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT HE MEANT, THAT'S NOT THE WAY HE IS. So really shame on you for this, this to me is criminal.
This was just sad, annoying and useless in the way it was discussed with the misunderstood party AND useless to the entire post.
Stfu
Well crying whenever I bump into him? He's triggering something and I wanna know what
Beautiful :) But when crying I cry for the other guys, this one just triggers it
Thank you 😊 I don't get why the downvotes haha Lemmy is such a disappointment for now. I see why you'd think that based on my post and I would totally agree with that, were it the case.
The other guys I'm referring to were not what society is pushing me towards though! At least the way I see it. They were into arts and getting involved with it, hanging with "unusual" people (always to mean what's expected and what's not). They actually helped me go through many changes, just meeting them had this effect, I was in university and they had a big impact on me.
While with this guy, I think my brain is going "if something happened it would be it" like bye bye to all you ever wanted, don't fall into that trap. Idk why. But it's the opposite of what you said: I could never have something long term with those other guys and didn't even want to, and I loved it that way. This guy and what he looks like for now would be normal and expected (just to follow this line of thought)
There's this guy in my neighbourhood who apparently I find very attractive 😂 I didn't realize that until recently, I always avoided him until one day I had to talk to him and I turned red and started smiling like an idiot.
This happened twice and both times, when I got home, I started crying... not because of what happened, but it felt as if I was losing something??
All I know about this "reaction" is that this guy isn't my usual type, I just find him physically attractive and when I get home I cry and think about those guys I actually felt a lot for (mostly platonically) and it hurts 🤕 wtf
And today I was almost telling myself to "stay on track"??? Like thinking about the others and thinking "that's the life you want, that's what would make you happy" and just wishing this didn't have such an effect on me.
The other student wasn't with us.
- instructor chose me to go last for the driving test
- went and drove for the exam with the other student and the examinator
- got back with all of them, the guy goes home himself or gets picked up, idk.
- instructor and examinator drive with me.
- Then it was just us and he drove me home.
I'm getting tired of repeating that I'm not looking for something serious with this person...