I like him, huge age gap (51M) and (26F), what can I do?

Hate to have to do this, but if y'all can't behave reasonably in the comments section we will have to lock this post. Please read the community rules in the sidebar and keep the discussion civil.

I have a friend who is 60, the same age as me. Her husband is 83, and she is about to put him in a nursing home because of his vascular dementia. It has been very difficult for her, especially because she has been looking after her mother, who just died.

I think that their time together has been good, but the odds of having to nurse someone significantly older than you who is dying are much higher than for someone your own age.

Not a warning, but something to think about.

If you're looking for cold comfort then go for it. If you want more then you'll probably realize quick that a 26 year old and a 51 year old have very different life goals. You probably want a career and potentially family, he might be looking at retirement, settling down, etc. Even if you are on similar wavelengths and make a go of it, he'll be 75 and infirm while you're 50. How many years would you like to play the role of respite nurse?

If he's single then he'll probably want to bang a 26 year old. That seems like a no brainer.

Wait until he is no longer your driving instructor before you ask him.

If you ask him when he is your teacher, he cannot be honest in his response.

Don’t underestimate the amount of fear that men have of being accused of sexual misbehavior.

It’s not a fun adventure when your 26 year old driving student reveals her crush on you. It’s like waking up in the middle of a minefield.

Wait until the class is over, and you are no longer his student. Then ask him.

Based on that last paragraph, yeah, he wants to appreciate you like any sexy girl his daughter's age. Weird that he sees you as some kind of infant adult that needs protecting. Go for it. Whatever. Fuck around, find out.

I can’t believe this is the second time in two weeks that I’m replying with these exact words on Lemmy:

I believe this is one of those scenarios where the only way to be certain is to fuck around and find out.

If you aren't going for serious, age gaps don't matter at all (barring age of consent obviously).

I know a guy that had an off and on partner that was in her sixties when he was in his twenties. Just fwb territory. They had fun, neither wanted anything deep, and that let them carry on for quite a while before they both found long term partners.

Being honest though, even for serious relationships, age gaps only matter when one party or the other isn't at the point where they can do the work that relationships take. And that can be true of older, and mature people. You can lose the willingness to work at things through life, and even barely adult people can do that work very well. There are challenges to age gaps, but they're far from insurmountable.

But for short term dating and sex? Doesn't matter. Worst case, you run into differing expectations about what to do together.

Go for it. Be up front, be honest. You might get rejected, but that's always possible.

It might work for a long time, but it's likely that you'll both change over time and may end up growing apart. If you're both aware of that at the forefront and are willing to take that risk then I guess it's not too big a deal, though it can be uncomfortable being seen together as your age difference becomes more visible.

Source: guy who had a ten year relationship with much older lass - I changed a lot in those ten years.

I got into an age gap relationship at the end of my 20s, and we’ve been together almost 10 years now. As others said, make sure you’re no longer his student before you broach the subject as there may be rules about it. If you’re looking for a sexual only relationship, go for it. 50yo men are many times better in bed than 20-something’s because they’ve had more experience.

If you’re looking for something more, there’s a lot of things to consider so take it slow and make sure that you are both in agreement about the direction of your relationship and your potential life together. Don’t assume he’s right because he’s older, don’t compromise your life goals and desires for him (like wanting/not wanting kids), and be prepared for your family, friends, co-workers, and strangers to judge you for the age gap. It’s doable but, as others said, the two of you are not at the same stage of life so you really have to make sure your goals align.

Best of luck!

To everyone: if you're against the age gap I totally get it. If you think I'm stupid, I'm open to that too. But it would be great if you could prove your point instead of just coming here with whatever your doctrine is telling me or anyone what is wrong and what is right. A lot of people commented, many upvoted and many downvoted, the way it's supposed to be. Some reported? FINE, but don't come here saying that the group who reported is right, cause many others didn't need to, apparently. If it's about the forum's RULES than that's another story, but don't dare tell people what should and should not be said.

I'm not interested in anybody that much younger than me. We wouldn't have anything in common.

This post has been reported, and I tend to agree with the reasoning. This seems somewhat inappropriate for this forum. Stop posting this tripe here, please.