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I live in a constant state of fear and misery
  • While WFH is amazing, your colleagues just going poof and never knowing what happened to them is a big downside.

  • Bill! BILL! Bill! BILL!
  • OCTOPUS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

  • Deep thoughts.
  • What if bikes DO have windows, but every time you’ve seen a bike, the windows were just rolled down?

  • Kentucky State Fair removes ribbon-winning miniature after realizing it depicted a porn set
  • I mean, I bet that person has fun testing the fences and finding out exactly where the line is.

  • Kentucky State Fair removes ribbon-winning miniature after realizing it depicted a porn set
  • But the miniature in the photo has a sign that says “Please do not touch.” So if all the miniatures had a sign like that, I don’t see what the problem would have been…

  • Galen Weston is Satan.
  • Yeah I’ll just starve myself. That’ll show ‘em!

  • let's spell it together, kids, w-a-g-e t-h-e-f-t
  • Matilda’s Dad has entered the chat.

  • free license key included
  • I found a pair of moon boots there once.

  • A woman brought her own snacks to Despicable Me 4. Then the police arrived
  • Oral surgeons already want you to fast for a time before going in. It’s only a matter of time before movie theaters make you do it too.

  • A woman brought her own snacks to Despicable Me 4. Then the police arrived
  • I’ve “snuck” quite a bit of snackage with me when I go to my local theater. (Especially because they rarely offer anything on my diet.) I put that in quote marks because I’m sure they can easily tell I’m smuggling my own stuff in.

    I’ve always reckoned that they let me by because they’re not paid enough to really care. Thankfully I have yet to run into a theater worker on a power trip.

    I guess it also helps that I do buy myself drinks while I’m there.

    But man, I’d probably shit my pants if they called the cops on me just because I brought my own zero sugar smoked sausages and some pumpkin seeds…

  • violently cries and sobs
  • You don’t have to accept being called anything. Doesn’t have much use outside the Internet anyway.

    You don’t say “That trans person over there” or “That cis chick over there” or “That gay dude over there.” You say their names. (Or “that person” if you don’t.)

    Because no one is really going to care about my sexual orientation in a formal setting or when they come across me or another random person at the grocery store.

    You can call me a leaf for all I care. We most likely won’t be seeing each other the next day anyway.

  • He will weep.
  • We usually call ‘em clankers.

  • Do you know any singleplayer games that are infinitely replayable?
  • For me, that would be the 3D Mario games (or any Mario game, really).

    I have over 70 hours logged into Super Mario 3D-Stars, and that’s just the newer way I’ve played these games.

  • It's what makes us special!
  • Behold, the real reason why Elon launched a car into space.

  • Loyalty to the flag
  • “naked undergarment”

    Never heard that oxymoron before.

  • Please vote
  • I’ve long fantasized of people being so fed up with both parties, that along would come a third party at the right time and enough people would flock to them that and vote them into office.

    But it’s just that: A fantasy.

    And anyways, there’s always the chance that said third party would be way way worse and maybe there’s a good reason why they weren’t more prominent to begin with.

  • *Ackshually*
  • ME: You forgot the comma in that sentence. Commas are important!

    DEVIL: Keep it up, jackass…

  • “Where did all the money go?”: Star Wars Fans Can’t Believe Disney Spent Twice the Money as Godzilla Minus One to Make Each Episode of The Acolyte
  • You would think they aren’t starting from scratch, but each crappy shot of an underbaked Coruscant suggests otherwise.

  • Hyphlosion Hyphlosion @donphan.social

    Your local Zero Sugar, Meatatarian, Johtoker.

    I love everything Johto!

    I’m here for the chill vibes and to have a good time.

    Billy O’nares refer to me as “A commoner with gumption.”

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