The best two days of owning a boat is the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

Republicans voted Reagan in twice so it doesn’t really matter.

That’s called dumpster pussy.

It’s common in Essex.

Hi Hally, I’m dad.

It’s a legitimate question, I don’t know why you aren’t taking me seriously.

I did say all the wires.

Do possums bite each other's clits?

I haven't spent that much time with them before.

I think everyone thirteen and older should get government-supplied methamphetamine rations to increase the GDP.

I took two women home from the bar one night and I guess they were fighting because they kept biting each other's clits.

Or maybe it was establishing dominance but either way it was just kind of awkward.

Is this a bodybuilding contest?

Unintentionally I guess, I just wonder what the defense budget has to do with healthcare.

My grandma used to microwave it but she was nuts.

That's usually what a defense budget is for.

The healthcare budget is for healthcare strangely enough.

I wonder how they get the turkey so moist?

Mine is usually drier than Ben Shapiro's wife.

Why would healthcare be in the defense budget?

These protesters are being antisemitic.

First thing I do is snip off all the wires so my computer is wireless.

Nice job, your kid will love that.

Let the one guy stick his dick in there.

It can only slow it down and best case scenario it swells up, he gets stuck and the water stops completely.