betterdeadthanreddit @ betterdeadthanreddit @lemmy.world

An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.

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Putin's got that recording in a different archive.

"Trump's Justice Department put out a statement on Truth Social citing a directive from the newly-formed Department of Fuck You, Stop Laughing, These Names Are Serious."

Don't ask about their right arm workout routine either.

The 1994 miniseries they made from it is pretty good. Also pretty bad since acting was still in the initial stages of being invented judging by several performances.

That sort of trust should be rewarded with belly rubs and by finding all their hard-to-reach itchy spots.

That sucks, some people react in shitty ways in a crisis but I'm glad your impulse was to act and not just be a bystander. There's a furious storm of chemistry going on that can trick this weird thinking meat into lashing out in irrational ways.

I've known some drivers who were completely oblivious to the state of their vehicles: they'd keep on trucking until the smoke pouring out of the hood got too thick to see and then stick their head out the window for the remainder of the journey. Only slight exaggeration. The old Simpsons trick of fixing a "Check Engine" indicator with a strip of electrical tape on the display turns out to be less than ideal, who could've guessed?

In any event, you spent that extinguisher for some valuable experience not just on the technical "Pull, Aim, Squeeze, Sweep" side of things but also the human component. I hope you will continue to help those in need since it sounds like you're the type of person who feels compelled to respond rather than sit back and film a clip for the 'gram or whatever.

That's one weird-looking Pokeball he's tugging on-

Thwump!...tickety-tackety-tack ¹

Hey, where'd he go?

All I remember about that guy (aside from a vague sense that he's a cheap, slimy shithead but not even the worst because that would make him remarkable) is a video someone put together with a bunch of his pet phrases and blunders. Not funny enough to make him even a little more likeable but hearing anyone say "call it what you want" now brings me a brief flash of revulsion.

Absolute necessity. Those jump packs can be nice too if you treat them right, mine has always worked so far when needed but most of the credit for that should probably go to my recurring "battery check" calendar reminder every few months. Nice to be able to get yourself out of a bad situation when nobody else is around or have one fewer problem to solve if there's tricky terrain or tight quarters getting in the way of hooking up cables.

Yeaaah USA, USA, USA!

But what's them big words after the lines?

The account was compromised over the weekend and instead of the usual posts of encouragement and kindness, Elmo’s 650,000 followers were given antisemitic threats and a profane reference to the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking investigation.

Source: AP News article

Short for autopenetration, it's what happens when you tell a guy to go fuck himself and he takes it literally.

That's why it'd be startling to find a startling.

I propose "startling" if the mutation is enough to qualify as a new species. Sort of like the opposite of an endling and you get a fitting double meaning as a fun bonus.

Donfrey Trumpstein.

Don't hold your breath for him to acknowledge the difference between his words and actions his other words, hypoxia causes brain damage and brain damage is a path to Republicanism.

Fucker thought he was Lee Harvey Oswald and forgot to double-tap before his head got turned into a rooftop Jackson Pollock. Unforgivable mistake.

Probably blames Biden for the slow trickle of shit oozing down his leg too.

Lawyer.