Parenting in an uncertain future, solidarity? Feels?
Parenting in an uncertain future, solidarity? Feels?
So I gave birth to my first (likely only) child about 10 days ago. First off, I can’t comprehend how much I love her. But more to the point, I’m having such big emotions about her and the world I brought her into.
I’m big into climate activism and uh, in general doing my damnedest to ensure there is a world for her to grow up into.
So it’s so weird looking at her. Thinking about the kind of tasks she has ahead of her should she go down the activist path. Wondering what kind of struggles she’s gonna face thanks to my generation. And also, I’m aware she’s her own person and will become herself, not mini-me. But in light of all of that, whenever I look at her, I just feel so much hope. It’s so irrational, this child’s highest achievement so far is drinking 85ml of formula in one go. But I look at her and feel like we will be okay.
It’s a stark contrast from the typical doom n gloom around child-creation you find in activist circles. Stuff about overpopulation and dooming your progeny.
Anyways… does anyone feel the same? Am i just a super sappy postpartum person?
I’m a teacher and a few days after my first (and only) was born the Uvalde school shooting happened. Postpartum emotions play a part, but it is really difficult to escape the growing negativity about the state of the world. She’s two now and while I do still have many concerns about the future I’m focused now on making each day as positive as I can for her. In my experience, in time, the intensity fades a little. You do what you can, accept you can’t control everything, and make the best with what you have.
I felt the exact same way. Looking at my first child gave me hope for the future in a way I hadn't, before. We're going to be okay.
My oldest is 4 and she takes no BS. She is so strong-willed it can be absolutely maddening. As much as I fear parenting her is going to be rough, I hope she maintains her spirit. She feels all her feelings in quite a big way, for better or worse. She has always been this way. I truly hope it sticks. I've had strangers tell me that she's the type that is going to run the world.
My other one is 2.5-ish. She is so tuned in with others' feelings, it's pretty incredible. She likes to make sure everyone has their napkins and dinner and utensils and everything before she'll sit. If she keeps this up, she's going to be taking care of everyone all the time. That's not a bad thing. The world needs some more of her empathy.
As you see their personalities emerge, it's hard not to feel confident in them and hopeful that you'll also feel proud of the decisions they make on their own.
You seem very nice and thoughtful; it's nice to hear about parents with a brain inside their skull that think ahead and love the moment.
Anyways, I actually don't have much to add as I am at a very different path of life, but I really like your thoughtfulness.
You also remind me of this comic:
Which I envy, cuz I'd wanne be that way.
My first is one and a half and change now and after getting out of year one, which was absolute hell for me, I kind of understand where you are. I don’t feel exactly the same as you, but I do feel a lot more hope than I’d have expected.
My kid is a lot like @MagikShel’s youngest it sounds like, and she’s often extremely angry about my general existence, let alone any of my attempts at parenting her but in a way that comforts me because I see someone able to fight for what she wants at an early age and I’m very proud of that.
I have five kids from 12 to 30. I worry about their future, but I think they are going to be alright. They've all turned out very different from anything I expected, but each is them are strong and successful in their own unique ways. My son battled addiction and bipolar, is 4 years sober and just graduated from nursing school suma cum laude. My oldest daughter just transitioned to a new career in preparation to start her own family. My littlest continually surprises (and frustrates) with her strength and independence. I'm not even sure I'm raising her at all, so much as she's raising herself and can't wait for her parents to get out of her way.
Kids are amazing. Good luck!
Great to hear, I'll become a parent in a few months. It's good to hear about how you feel since I used to feel pretty negative about having kids before we decided to have them.