Parenting

So I gave birth to my first (likely only) child about 10 days ago. First off, I can’t comprehend how much I love her. But more to the point, I’m having such big emotions about her and the world I brought her into.

I’m big into climate activism and uh, in general doing my damnedest to ensure there is a world for her to grow up into.

So it’s so weird looking at her. Thinking about the kind of tasks she has ahead of her should she go down the activist path. Wondering what kind of struggles she’s gonna face thanks to my generation. And also, I’m aware she’s her own person and will become herself, not mini-me. But in light of all of that, whenever I look at her, I just feel so much hope. It’s so irrational, this child’s highest achievement so far is drinking 85ml of formula in one go. But I look at her and feel like we will be okay.

It’s a stark contrast from the typical doom n gloom around child-creation you find in activist circles. Stuff about overpopulation and dooming your progeny.

Anyways… does anyone feel the same? Am i just a super sappy postpartum person?

I have been thinking about a way to have more activity here: weekly threads.

An obvious one would be "Funny thing your kid said or did this week", do you have other ideas?

Crossposted from !casualconversation@lemm.ee

So I’m thinking along the lines of this (volume warning)

But my two year old just did the same thing while “helping” to feed the dogs. She spilled a few pieces, looked at the mess, and then dumped out the rest of the cup. She exclaimed, “I make a mess” then picked up the pieces, put them back in the cup, and successfully poured it into the dog’s bowl. What breaks in their brain where the task doesn’t go according to plan so they make an even bigger mess?

Second time mom with a 5 week old. I am one who is mindful of nap lengths, wake windows, and aiming towards a schedule once age appropriate. I understand 5 weeks is way too young and to just follow cues. However, my baby is seeming to gravitate towards a schedule but there is a bit of a blip.

Baby wakes between 7:30 - 8:00 am, stays awake for 1 - 1.5 hours each window, takes naps for 45 min - 2 hrs until mid afternoon. She then fights that last nap and doesn't take it, and ends up going to bed at 8:00, sleeping 12 hours. I've read babies this age don't sleep 12 hours overnight (2 feeds still) and she is awake from like 4:00 to 8:00 pm which is way too long for a 5 week old. The last window is cranky and she is clearly tired but just refuses.

Any advice??

My 3 week old is too strong for a swaddle but too new for arms out. Thoughts?

I have tried blanket swaddle, Velcro, zipper, love to dream, etc. She busts out of all of them and gets her arms caught up by her face, waking her up naturally. My first born was the same way. I did arms out sleep sack last night and she had the roughest night, translating to me too. I'm not sure what else to do given that pesky Moro reflex is around for awhile still.

Remind me that its worth it and it gets better.

Just had Baby #2 a few weeks ago and I somehow forgot how isolating and challenging the newborn stage is. Maybe a growth spurt but the excessive crying and inconsolable behaviors, the sleep deprivation, the loss of ones self, no support outside of dad...

Marriage seems to have a harder time through this one too. The bonding with baby is difficult. Everyone keeps telling me how big my baby is and how she looks like a boy. My body has permanent reminders of this decision.

I know about PPA and PPD. I fully recognize that the hormone dump is real. But please, other parents of multiples, remind me its temporary and that having a family of 4 is better than 3.

Also, why?

Banned shows:

• Paw Patrol - Seems soulless, I haven't watched much, but there seems something very wrong about it. Intuitively, I feel like my kid shouldn't watch it (though, I can could be convinced I'm wrong, if I am)
• Cocomelon - objectively soulless - don't try to convince me that this show is anything but toddler crack.

Approved:

• Sesame Street
• Bluey

Both of the above shows seem to me like they are made with care and have the best interests to teaching children good morals and language skills.

Whether it's April fools day or Christmas Day joking with your kids is a good idea.

...then after eating a few of the grapes he says he doesn't like the "inside part" of the grape, and just likes the juice. Now he wants grape juice.

I'm not proud to admit that I ended up blending grape jelly with apple juice for him, since we didn't have any grape juice. But he loved it, so... I'll take the win.

Woman Saves Countless Hours by Printing Pamphlets of Frequently Asked Questions About Her Pregnancy

We didn’t grow up in the US, so we don’t really know much about the gifted programs. She has scored 99 in CogAT, and 96.5 in ITBS, so she qualifies to the HAG program in NC. We can either switch to a different school that has the HAG curriculum, or keep her in the current school under the next lower level curriculum (AIG). The school says their AIG program is excellent, and that many HAG students have opted to stay in the school’s AIG program.

I want to do what is best for her social, emotional, and academic growth, so please share your experience/horror stories/success stories with the gifted programs, and your advice on which one to choose.

She's an only child and a bit naive, if that matters.

My child lost their first tooth today.

I (being clever) got them to put it in an envelope under their pillow ready for the tooth fairy.

The tooth fairy tells me the envelope was empty but they left £2 anyway. Hopefully this is standard procedure. XD

There is a kid in my daughter's 2nd grade class, who seems to like to lie/embellish a bit about a lot of things. Some of the things he has said/done so far:

• He has a girlfriend Kate who hides in his bedroom everyday for him to come back from school, and when he does, they go to the bathroom and she kisses him on the lips
• He went to military school when he was young(?!). They gave him basic training there
• He once said he's a lot stronger than my daughter, and there is no way she can hurt him and asked her to try. She twisted his arm to the back (smh), and he screamed to let him go
• He said he can easily take her down, and all he needs to do is to hit her on her balls(?)
• He has punched a few kids in the class for one reason or another (they were making fun of him, she says)
• He said brought a gun to the school once, and he accidentally pressed the button that makes it shoot and almost killed people, so his girlfriend Kate is mad at him.
• He says he's gonna bring his gun to the school one day and kill everyone with it. He'll spare my daughter because 'you're the smart kid. We need smart people to tell us what to do'

I was initially not very concerned, but over time, the things he says and does are extremely concerning to me. We are immigrants who didn't grow up here, so we have no idea what's normal and what's not. I wanted to report the gun thing to his class teacher, but my wife is hesitant. She says he's probably just joking around, and not to make this a big deal at school.

What do I do here? Please advise.

Year and a half old. It may feel silly, but she's always been in the single-digit percentile, usually low-single-digits at that. She was born about 3 months premature, and after her weight gain stalling, they prescribed a medication with a side effect of increased appetite to give things a jump start. I think it's going to work 🙂

!dads@feddit.uk and !fatherverse@midwest.social

I have two young kids and spend a lot of time thinking about how to approach the process of parenting. LLMs are a great resource to augment some aspects of parenting. In this blog post, I go into some examples that I use for the following uses:

• Coming up with activities
• AI Generation games
• Thinking through past and future events
• Approaching complex topics
• Talking to parenting books

I hope this isn't an inappropriate question to pose here.

If all goes well I'll be a first-time dad this summer and I want to do my research. I've done some general searching online for answers to specific questions, but I'd love two or three more comprehensive resources. You know, the kind of thing to give me answers to questions I hadn't even considered.

I spent some time searching for pregnancy books oriented to men, thinking it could give me some useful insight into being an ideal partner during the process. At the same time, I'm hoping it'll give me a good general idea of what to expect. The results of my search were rather disappointing. It seems like the majority of books of that nature seem overly bro-ey and just generally too macho for me. I found titles legit along the lines of "Baby Hacks EVERY Man Must Know." Ok, not for me ...

A few popped up that on the surface seemed more promising, but when I looked into them I got wary. One seemed to be sponsored by some men's parenting social media site and the other was written by a self-professed influencer. Also not for me. (I'm on Lemmy because I can't stand influencer-culture.)

I finally settled on a book that seemed a little more my speed in terms of attitude, but with very little substance. It's basically 150 pages of, "Hey, you should be nice to your wife." OK. That's already my standard operating procedure, so we're good there.

I feel like what I want has to be out there. I'm just looking for a resource to tell me all of the little things. You know, stuff like signs to watch out for regarding potential dangers during the pregnancy, what the hell I'm supposed to do while my wife is giving birth, how to avoid falling down the stairs with my new baby, etc.

Anyway ... Do any of ya'll have any hidden gems to recommend? My wife and I are elder millenials so we've got some life experience under our belts. As it probably matters for the topic of parenting, we're quite progressive but don't buy into anything too woo-woo (we're big believers in science).

I'm going to try and keep this clear and concise.

I'm not confident in my parenting. I don't feel like I've been a good parent, but I have done the best that I can with the tools and resources that I have.

My 18 y/o has lived with us since she was 4. My partner has been in my 18y/o's life since they were 13 months old.

18y/o is copy->paste of their deadbeat mother and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what I can do about it at this point.

I have tried to instill structure, while allowing wiggle room at times. I recognize that it's my job as the parent to draw hard lines and it's my kids job to push the boundaries and cross those lines.

18y/o is almost mute around us. Doesn't communicate much of anything beyond surface level 'pleasantries'. And it's more often than not, anything but pleasant. They (biological female) are diagnosed with ADHD, 'change disorder', anxiety and depression. I've done so much reading trying to figure out this person and how I can help, but nothing seems to help. Kid has never really be honest with therapists. Lies for no reason, and doubles down even when presented with irrefutable evidence that they've been caught. If I had to 'self-diagnose', they have ODD and are a sociopath, but I've seen how they behave around friends and peers. They only have disregard for us. Outside the home, they are a people pleaser. But if we suggest something, or ask for something to be done, it's a fight, every time.

They are a senior in high school, is a good student when there's nothing rocking their boat, but had steadily declining grades as the school year presses on. I have no idea what's going on in their life, everything is responded to with a random selection of the following list:

I don't know

I don't remember

I don't know how you want me to answer that

Do you want me to respond?

I don't see what the problem is.

I don't see how this is a big deal.

The current argument is regarding whether we should be expected to wake them up for school in the morning. I've already put my foot down about it, and since December 1st, they've already walked themselves to school twice because they overslept.

They are impossible to motivate. When things finally come to a head and an argument breaks out, which typically boils over because there can be no constructive conversation with someone who is either unable or unwilling to have a conversation. And only when the argument breaks out do we get any action on anything, and then it's an overcorrection. For example, we've been pushing for them to fill out scholarship applications for 8 months. We've had friends provide spreadsheets with links to what we collectively think are viable scholarships, for no action responses. Then when we finally get a break in the wall, they fill out scholarship applications for tens of thousands of dollars for enrollment in a school states away with misleading GPA information. We are not in a financial position to accommodate that kind of enrollment, even if we wanted to support the decision. It comes off as an "I'll show them" move.

Nevermind the drivers license thing. Can't get them to get off their ass and get their license. It's been a battle for 2 years. Something always goes wrong. Last time I pressed on it hard, we ended up in intensive outpatient therapy.

They're unmanageable and I don't know what to do for or with them. Our home is small, 800 sqft and it's a hell hole. My partner has almost left me twice over this kid's behavior over the years. Partner and kid do not get along at all at this point, and has lead to a false CPS report so my kid could try and move in with their crush's family.

There so much context missing but there's no time or room for 18 years of back story.

I don't know if there's a question here, but I need help or support, or something. Any stories or advice anyone cares to relay would be appreciated. I'm terrified that once this kid leaves, I'm never going to hear from them again. But I can't control that, and I recognize it.

Thanks for reading.