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I don't understand Catwoman.

I like when characters are clearly defined. You need a clear baseline of a starting point of who these characters are, and where they come from. Their personality can change over time, but not WHO they are. So things like age (unless you plan to age the entire universe equally), facial features, race, gender, eye color, hair color, body size, body shape. These are all things that need to be consistant no matter how many times you reboot the series. Peter Parker has been a high school/early college aged skinny white boy who just happens to be Spiderman. Batman is always an early 40s, maybe mid 30s rich businessman, who happens to be Batman.

When they wanted to make a black kid as Spiderman, they created a new character. I'm not sure if it's just for the video games (I don't regularly read comics, and I haven't seen him in any movies), they created Miles Morales. A NEW CHARACTER, and the city doesn't know Spidermans identity. They've seen him change his costume before. So he can "be" Spiderman, but he's a different physical person. And that's fine. That's how you SHOULD go about making a change to who the super hero is, without doing a hard reset on the universe.

But Catwoman? She's all over the place. Sometimes she's white, sometimes she's black, sometimes she's young, sometimes she's old, sometimes she's a villain, sometimes she's a hero, and then one time for no reason at all they had her play basketball.....the nails I get, because she's CATwoman, but why the whip? Sometimes she has the whip, sometimes not. Pick a lane!!! God damn! Are there multiple catwomen? Am I supposed to believe there's an entire commitee of women who's sole goal in life is to point out how stupid Batman is, that he's not noticing that every time he runs into Catwoman, she's clearly a different person? Sometimes she loves Batman, sometimes she's lesbian. Sometimes she's anti-social. Sometimes she teams up with other villians. Sometimes she teams up with Batman.

NO! FIGURE IT OUT DC!!! She's Selina Kyle. That's your starting point. If I'm to believe in this character, you need to define who she is. If there are multiple catwomen, that needs to be explained.

You don't see Harley Quinn changing drastic things about her to the point of being unrecognizable. I remember being in the theater watching The Dark Knight Rises, and thinking "Huh. A woman wearing all black, who's a cat burglar. Why don't they just replace this character with Catwoman???"

It wasn't until later in the movie when I pieced together that she WAS supposed to be Catwoman.

THIS was the biggest "WTF ARE YOU DOING???" moment I had about the catwoman character. Scarecrow was clearly defined. Joker was clearly defined. Two face was clearly defined. All these characters there was no mistake who it was. Even Robin at the end of the movie didn't get a clear "IS that Robin, or not???"

But Catwoman only became apperent about halfway through the movie. She had no connection or imagery OF cats. It's actually WORSE than the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie, when you saw the Goombas. At least there they explained "Hey, these are the goombas." They never explained why some of them had long lizard faces, and some had round heads......but they used the word "Goomba" right in the introduction. With Catwoman, they NEVER said "Catwoman" the entire movie.

And it doesn't help things that the 2004 Catwoman movie with Halle Berry was just......just so bad. I love Halle Berry, but come on. I think even she'd admit that was a low point in her career creatively.

The 1992 Batman Returns is THE definitive Catwoman. THAT'S how you do it.

There's also the campy 1960s tv show version of Catwoman. Considering the rest of the show, Catwoman was fine here. Nothing too remarkable, but then again nothing from that version was. Other than maybe Ceasar Romero not shaving before putting on Joker face paint. I mean really. Did he never see the character? Joker does NOT have facial hair!

My only theory is that it's multiple women, and they're all Catwoman. Batman, and the audience are treated like they don't see the constant shifting in who that is.

And yes, I'm also upset by Batman and Robin. All of it. Just.....the whole movie. Mr Freeze is not some hulking power lifter. Poison Ivy was played alright I guess. Robin is not some dude in his 40s. He's supposed to be like 13. And yes, I realize that kind of makes Bruce Wayne/Batman a little suspicious that he's a grown ass man hanging out with this random 8th grader. Even moreso when you realize he's hanging out with him to get help from this boy fighting the most psychotic maniacs in Gotham.

"Ok, Robin. We've got to stop the Joker. He's going to blow up the bank. He's going to have armed henchmen all over the ground. He's going to have bombs inside the bank. Here's a big stick."

Ok, I'm losing focus here, and the more I type the more I realize how weird the Batman universe is.

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