I'm so over being at home. I seem to be done with the night sweats and headaches and sore throat; the cough is now mostly at night and after eating food. Yesterday I hardly coughed until right after dinner when it turned into a couple hours of feeling like I had little flecks of liquid constantly entering my windpipe, resulting in increasingly chesty yet mostly dry coughs. I think it's laryngopharyngneal reflux, took a PPI last night and one this nothing and not coughing nearly as much tonight.
If I stay on the PPIs for several days hopefully that'll be it. I desperately need to go out for some chores this weekend and to break the cabin fever. And I really DO NOT want to keep working from home next week
E: really craving fish and potato patties... or soft floppy hot chips.
My case manager was back in today and ordered a bunch of the things on my list. I think I'm down to 5-10 things that are still pending replacement.
Got a notif that one is being processed in some place called "Smeaton Grange" in NSW. Looks like a fun place, they have a play centre with bouncy houses, a go kart place, a swimming pool, a martial arts centre, a lolly warehouse, a circus school, and an indoor skating centre.
They also have a place with C U B E S
(Looks like someone's been eating the cubes, but tbh who could resist? They're C U B E S)
ooooh xero don't you DARE go offline at 4:40 on FRIDAY.....
EDIT: Stand down. It was just slow. Admin done. Weekend is here 🍻
Psych: if you could wake up tomorrow and what's holding you back could be solved, what would that look like?
Me: I would have consistency and routine, be doing a job I enjoy, having enough fulfilling social time and not feeling hopeless. But I have control over those things and maybe I wouldn't feel hopeless if I have those things in check.
Psych: do you need me?!
We discussed hopelessness as something that comes up trying to be helpful when we aren't meeting our expectations. Understanding why it's there allows me to sit with it better. Also did an ACT meditation for sitting with emotions. At least for me, things feel shitty, but they never really end up being as bad as they seem in the long run.
Friday Flex - charging up a herbal vape on my work laptop.
Fuck the sytsem
The first big chair is fully sanded and wiped down ready for staining. 😬 It's nothing fancy but it's solid oak . This will be the 3rd time in it's lifetime it's been recovered
Taking a break at another team’s desk with their permission so I can have some peace and quiet.
Got the sun coming in and not a bad outside view though limited due to privacy.
Manager boss is away sick today, the mice will come out and play.
I just dreamt about the end of the world. It was really cinematic and had a cast of characters, none of them me but at times I was each of the characters. It had a series of time jumps and stories playing out about their lives before the finale which was in the future where there were millions of satellites in the night's sky. They were all different colours and shapes and clusters and zipped by closer than felt comfortable. Then they'd found a way to project a reflection of the earth in the sky so you could see all of the countries, and did a presentation on them which felt like a "thank you for your time here on earth, humans" where they showcased humanity over the years from every walk of life. It was all very impressive but it also felt very “big corporation” which felt fitting for where we’re headed.
Then during a random moment of conversation with one of the aged characters, one of the only remaining original ones who hadn't died off, the waves came. The first was large enough to know it was about to be the end. Then right after it the character was floating and could see the second world ender coming, gasped and then lights out and I woke up.
I haven't even talked about the story of her life or her late husband's life which was its own thing. There was sadness, redemption, fame, failure, regret and wrestling. And randomly, a pool of hippos which was under their huge warehouse where they lived. You could get to it from under their bed. Weird.
Anyway I just kinda wanted to journal this because it was kind of epic. It even had side characters who felt like they had their own journies over the time jumps, or had their own troubles which were suddenly gone and seemed trivial but also not trivial at the time, but were just the past after the time jumps and those characters had passed.
music time 🎶🦇 just some instrumental music for doing work The Batman. This is awesome, so full of tension, fear, and then some pathos too. 10/10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvXZurAwZ_A&list=PLBKadB95sF44svAf6GEN3TTFPJwFdwrmm
I had the meeting with the discharge lady from my current school to get the necessary paperwork signed so I can begin TAFE. She said it'll probably be done within the next few weeks. I also sent an email to the intake lady from the TAFE and asked to switch to the class commencing in late aug. Far enough away to have time to organise everything, but not so far away that it slips my mind and I lose the motivation.
Also far enough away that her half a week long delay in replying to my emails won't cause problems. Hopefully
Side note: I really want to find another phone game I can get super addicted to for a week. But my taste in games isn't mainstream at all, so even computer games I enjoy are few and far between 😔
