I installed linux, and men in suits burst into my room to give me some socks and a skirt.

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Like this?
omg kde neon <3

actually an insanely cool distro, the partial rolling release is really fun
- I love the distro, but it's a bummer that KDE is buggy :3
  
  Its buggy because its a dev distro of the latest in KDE, it will basically never not be buggy.
  
  KDE on Debian, Arch, Fedora, pretty much whatever else will be stable.
I say you are lying bc no way those were men
- Would you belive me if I said they were government officials :3
Sounds like you got some weird roommates.

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