God can't fix a car
God can't fix a car
My mom and her prayer warriors have been praying to get my car fixed quickly. My car has been in the shop for a month. Apparently the omniscient omnipresent God of the universe can't fix a car.
Common misconception; someone prayed that your car would stay broken first and He's gotta honor "first come first served"
11 1 ReplyLook, God is too busy controlling the outcomes of Football games to fix your car.
31 0 ReplyIt's a US presidential election year, God is busy choosing candidates...
14 0 ReplyNo he’s busy deciding which side is paying harder and will finally win that gruesome, bloody war
2 1 Reply
I took it in to get the rack and pinion replaced. The mechanic screwed it all up and charged me $1,100. He claimed everything with somebody else's fault. I took it to another mechanic and paid him $518 to fix that. Then the rack and pinion completely failed and now I have to pay another $1300 to get that fixed. And in the meantime the part was delayed because it was coming from Missouri and there was a giant storm.
4 0 Reply
Well he didn’t speak of his own Accord, so I guess he’s not a car diety. Try Ganesh instead.
22 0 ReplyI mean, jesus was a carpenter, not a mechanic. Maybe try asking him to install some new windows in your house or something.
22 0 ReplySomething tells me that they didn't do triple-pane installs into a modern home back in 0AD.
6 0 ReplyGood point.
5 0 Reply
But Zen can fix your motorcycle.
3 0 ReplyTry praying to Joe Pesci. He gets things done.
11 0 ReplyYeah, but it's his girlfriend Marisa Tomei who knows how to fix cars.
6 0 ReplyGet it done or he'll break your legs!
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I mean if god can’t defeat iron chariots (Judges 1:19) what hope does he have dealing with a way way way more advanced self-propelled steel chariot?
11 0 ReplyHe's only god of the gaps, and there's no gap for him to fill in our understanding of cars.
7 0 ReplyI'm listening to Ghost now, friend of Satan 🤘
3 0 ReplyAre you on the square?
3 0 Reply
He's fixing your car in one of his mysterious ways. Had you gotten the car earlier, you would have veered into an orphanage. God still believes in you, even if you don't believe in him! Etc...
7 1 ReplyThe car has free will and chooses to defy God's will.
And yes, it's going to car hell.
7 0 ReplyOne of my cousins thanked god that she was able to pay her credit card debt. I nearly broke my neck whilst rolling my eyes at her online post.
6 1 Reply🙄
My mom says god works through people. If I have to do all the work, what do I need god for?
The cognitive dissonance is strong with these people.
11 0 Reply
Counterpoint: He can, but He just won't.:-P
Side note: I bet if they really wanted your car fixed quickly, they could... ahem... manage to make it happen. 💵💰💸
4 0 ReplyEven God has to wait for the parts from the manufacturer.
3 0 ReplyIt's the will of god. god is an asshole. Yes, I purposely didn't capitalize god.
3 0 ReplyEven God can't overcome parts delays and supply chain issues. :(
2 0 ReplyMan upstairs kinda busy rn with all his followers fucking up his message
2 1 ReplyPart delays due to a storm from the hand of god. You must be psychotic.
2 1 ReplyYou keep replying to your own post instead of to individual comments. You gotta figure that shit out.
2 0 ReplyI tap or long press on someone's comment and tap reply. I'm not sure how else it should work.
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What does it need? I must know.
1 0 Reply
god works in mysterious ways
1 1 Reply