Sadly I don't function

ADHD isn't functioning in chaos. It's causing chaos while functioning.

Big difference.

If you have ADHD you should make special efforts to keep your place cleaner than average, at least in my experience.

It's a lot easier to manage stimulation when you have things tidy. It's just extra effort to get there.

But then how do I remember the things I need to do if they are not all over the place? (I don't even know if I'm joking)
- "Out of sight, out of mind" is often said as a good thing, but for people like me, it's chaos. I love it when desk, desktop and inbox are tidy because that means that I have nothing to do or worry about.
- I have 2 categories of things:
  
  Resources and Reminders.
  
  Resources are always put away. When I'm working on a project my mind can easily recall where a resource is. I can then track it down. Things like specific bolts, old Ethernet plugs etc all get packed up out of the way.
  
  Reminders can never be hidden. Things like my keys and wallet are easy examples, but reminders also include that book I want to read next or that coding project I wanted to work on. Reminders are always front and center on my desktop, they're right by the door (sometimes on hangers attached to the door in the case of wedding rings) and I don't forget them because they're obvious.
  
  So things you need to do? Reminder category. Set calendar events for the things that need temporal reminders, or have to be put away.
  
  Resources? Keep them out of sight.
- I know that you think you might be but I also suspect you aren't.
  
  "How can I find anything in all this order?!?"
- That's exactly me. I have an organized mess!
my room is "clean" but my personal adhd clean where i put something somewhere because im a genius thatll remember it and then i look where it should be and its not there and im like well shit i guess its gone until i stumble upon it right where i needed it.

not until after i spend 30 minutes looking not where i needed it.

sometimes i completely clean my space and then ill stop thinking about it and kinda go about my day and suddenly 4 different unrelated activities are on my desk.

i just watched memento for a class and i kinda feel like the guy in memento except to a much much lesser degree
- When it comes to resources if I look somewhere and don't find it then I'll be sure to place it where I first looked on cleanup.
  
  It usually amounts to a chaotic system with only a marginal amount of sorting but it's all out of sight most importantly.
  
  The visual noise of things everywhere is maddening.
Yeah, I find it’s much easier to keep everything immaculate than it is to make my place kinda tidy.

I find that if there’s one object on the side that needs to be put away, it might as well be eight objects. So I’m either in a mindset where I put every single item away or none.
If you have ADHD you should make special efforts to keep your place cleaner than average, at least in my experience.

Sorry, but no. If my place is tidy I'll manage to trash it before making breakfast. If it's not that tidy it'll stay that's way.

I thrive in chaos. Too controlled and I'll start intentionally wreck shit just for a hint of dopamine, too chaotic and I'll start organising things (again, dopamine).
- In 33 years that's what functions best for me and the other ADHDers I know.
  
  But it's far more of a spectrum disease than people think and there are a ton of flavors to ADHD.
  
  Ymmv.

Not all autistics function well with order.

They function well when the baseline world around them maintains predictability.

But contrary to others on the spectrum, they do really badly with rigid schedules and rules to follow.

I am one of those.

When busses don't ride on time, I'm anxious, even if I don't take the bus.

But for the love of God don't force me into any sort of schedule because it'll run me of the rails.

My brother/sister/sibling!

I thank every day that I have a boss that doesn't give a shit about that stuff, as long as the customers are happy. Schedules are the bane of my existence
If things are orderly then they're predictable.
I LOVE other things on a schedule, me on a schedule is a day ruining mental drain that gets me all spun out.

I love how at the time if me answering there are exactly two replies one telling OP that their statement about ADHD is inaccurate and one telling OP that their statement about autism is inaccurate.

Canned psychologist answer to any absolute statement about ADHD or ASD: "it depends" and "sometimes but not always".
- No.
  
  The problem is that the more obvious autists are those who everyone bases their knowledge on while the less obvious ones, that are like me do not in any way have the same needs.
  
  This stereotype is what makes life shit for people like me. Because people make assumptions about them that are directly opposed to what their actual needs are.
  
  And I'd say that most autistics that function on a level where they can live on their own, get married and work are more like me than the classic view of autism.
  
  As the classic view of autism is expressly based on the easily detectable cases that can't even take care of themselves.
- Almost like they're diagnoses of exclusion in more than a few cases...
I would do the same tbh

Cries in AuDHD and working in the food industry

It kinda balances out enough that I went 36 years without knowing or suspecting anything was truly wrong with me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Having both, idk, it's like I have to expect chaos to be okay with it. Like, I take my ADHD spouse on a date and I expect they'll want to spontaneously go places, and I'll be okay with that. If I'm driving home on a routine grocery run and they suddenly call and want takeout... I have to calm myself.