Chiquita... what did you do this time?

For context, this was back during that stupid time when people could buy Xitter authentication.
- Xitter
  My apologies, but it’s Twitter for as long as that cock-sucking, ball-gargling, butt-plug-looking, fascist-asshole-of-a-non-tax-paying illegal immigrant piece-of-shit anal-bead-wannabe motherfucker who needs to get the Hell out of our goddamned country is alive and walking free.
  
  Xitter is pronounced 'shitter' I'm pretty sure
  
  The Gulf of America was really about Elon being salty bc we still call it Twitter, watch
  
  I get that you are trying to degrade and demoralize him, but please be aware that many of the insults and words you are using are offensive to various groups of people.. for example, my wife is a cock sucker, are you comparing my wife to this creep?
  
  Can you please not bring ball gags, butt plugs and anal beads into this topic, that's derogatory for these to be compared with that deformed mouldy balding shithead.
  
  Twitter.com still brings you to the website, i imagine the trademark is still registered
  So it is still correct to call it that
- I don't think Xitter authentication existed in 1954...
- ...isn't that still the case? They took it away, changed the color or something, and brought it back, didn't they?
- You could buy Xitter authentication in 1954? 🤔
- I thought that was still ongoing? When did they revert the change?
  
  I thiiink there are multiple checkmarks now. General bought blue check marks and gold verified? I think...?
- Can't people still buy the blue check?

It's true, too; Chiquita was vital in overthrowing the Guatemalan government.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1954_Guatemalan_coup_d%27%C3%A9tat#Genesis_and_prelude
- I was honestly surprised they casually acknowledged it like that
  
  Both tweets are fake.

Fuck Dole and every family that still holds power from the coup.

Chiquita is a bad exploiting brand
- At this point you might as well just assume every corporation is shit and be pleasantly surprised when you look them up.
  
  I mean, yeah, but Chiquita/United Fruit are on a whole different level. They're the ones who single-handedly destabilized a whole region, funding multinational death squads, coups and shit. That's the whole joke.
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_Wars
  Edit: to be honest, anyone unfamiliar with this period should brush up on it. This was the last time the US truly functioned as an empire (or tried to), and the key arguments are going to be the same now as they were then.
  
  It's still good to mention it, when they are mentioned. I mean, otherwise we just normalise that status.
  
  sure; but I prefer my bananas to be slave free and traded fair :)

Honestly, that's just bananas.
- Oh brother this guy stinks!
  Take your upvote e.e
  
  Wait till they post something about Planters... Waggles eyebrows

It's been 50 years, Chiquita should treat itself
- You're off by two decades
  
  It's been 30 years, Chiquita should treat itself.
- Plot twist: A whistleblower denounces that Chiquita was the major Trump campaign supporter.

I miss the week where Twitter essentially allowed free speech for $15 before they shut it down after everyone immediately clowned on every single corporation and celebrity in existence.

If aliens could judge us, they'd say: "So you are telling me, that humans have killed each other for imaginary lines on the ground; in the name of feckless leaders who don't give a fuck about you; and bananas?"
- Bananas are at least understandable, we gotta eat
  
  Or hoard if you’re Donkey Kong.