How You Doin?

Ça va ? Ça va. Et toi ça va ? Ça va

Only in NY? Everyone knows that isn't a question to be answered. It's chit-chat, an opener. What's happening? How are you? What's popping? Not questions that need answers. You reply 'not much' and move on.
- Fuck that, I will answer it if I want to. Yes, I know the socially acceptable pretend bullshit that is expected, but if they are going to ask I will be honest if I feel like it.
  Usually I don't because they probably just do it because everyone else does, but it gets really old.
  
  I unintentionally make people buffer when they say “How are you” and I just answer with “good” and don’t return the question. There’s usually a second of dead silence because they expect to get it back and answer. I’m not used to asking a rhetorical question as a greeting, and prefer to just just say Hi or Hey.
  
  Its not unacceptable at all. You are fine. It was a little unexpected sure, but hey at least now we are done with pleasantries and talking about something at least one of us cares about.
  To be clear, I am also not against pleasantries. They are called that for a reason .
- "Yo baby, you ever had your asshole eaten-out by a fat man in an overcoat?"
  Y'know, classic greetings.
- You'd think, right? But I have some customers that insist that I actually answer the question.
  They'll walk up and say "hi! how are you?" and I'll say "hello"... And then they'll look me directly in the eyes and say again "how are you???" rather than telling me what they want so I can get them through the line.
  My usual response is to look at them like ಠ_ಠ and say "...I'm good? How are you?" to indirectly communicate to them that they're being weird af. But one of these times I want to just trauma dump on these old ladies that do this shit and watch as they have no idea what to say, and hopefully make them feel awkward as I hold up the line to give them a genuine answer to the question they insisted I respond to.
  /rant
- Yeah well people from NY think they are special. So to them, this is an only them thing I suppose
- Gonna start greeting people with "Life fucking you with lube today, or is it lubeless as usual?"
- And here I thought this curse was British brainrot. No, I will give you a detailed account of my day to day activities unless you can learn to say hi or hello there like a civilized person.
  
  It absolutely isn't a global thing. Many Europeans get confused when they first encounter it from a brit or american for the first time. My indian friend lived in the US for a year and never got used to it, would still occasionally accidentally answer for real.
  Then there's places where there's a set, expected answer.
  Like Ireland:
  Alright?
  Alright.
  France:
  Ça va?
  Ça va (bien).
  That's just my experience!
- New yorkers love reminding everyone they've never left new york.

Answer: „bad people always feel well“ or something that roughly translates to „weeds don’t go away“

In Finland, if you ask "miten menee" (how is it going) you'll either get to hear someone's life story, or a single word reply "menee" (it's going) which amounts to "I don't want to talk about it". But the assumption is that the person asking is up to exchange a few genuine sentences.
Or, if someone is having a genuinely good day, you might get a few sentences explaining why things are looking up.
Hence, most people will go with literally neutral statements. An example, my go-to farewell is "päivänjatkoa" which is literally just "may the day continue".
- I've heard a lot of "it is what it is" in my time in Finland. I am probably returning soon for wappu/vappu.

This is a very common dialect thing. Like in the UK, especially the North east "you alright?" Or just "alright?" is just a simple greeting that is often also just repeated in response.

So, I work with New Yorkers and this happens all the time lol. How should I respond to this in a proper way then lol, it feels odd to respond with the same question :P
- I’ts all good bruddah, how you doin’?
- Its-a all good-ah, how bout yourself?
  (just sprinkle bits of Mario, he's from New York)

How You Doin?
I'm still here.

In Australia "Hows it going?" Or more accurately "Howzitgarn?"
- UK London and east is, 'y'aight', which is you all right? Shortened to one syllable.
  
  In Maryland we just eyeball the other person and both say Aight at the same time to make sure the passer by isnt about to try something slick
- Howdy was once "How do ye?"
- Howzitgarnmate'?
  
  Thats the formal version.
  "High Strayan"

We do that in Kentucky, too. And same for the "Doin' alright. You?" that you'll receive in return. lol
- Same thing here in Texas "How you doin?" "Doin alright how bout yourself?"
  Then yall just pass by each other and keep walking.
  Never thought about it until now but it is kinda funny to just leave a random question hanging in the air that both people know ain't getting answered lol.
  
  Oh yeah, we do the "How bout yourself" too sometimes, now that I think about it. And occasionally you'll get a "Doin alright" but it's all pretty standard stuff.

I always say "I'm another day older and deeper in debt."
https://youtu.be/S1980WfKC0o
- Same shit different toilet
- "The horrors persist, but so do I"
- At the end of the day you're another day older...
  And that's all you can say for the life of the poor...
- I always say, one day closer to the sweet relief of death.

Empty phrases... Why?!

It is a question. The answer is always "Aight"

Only in NY do we use a character from a NJ outfit as our own.
Shoulda been a Tribbiani.
- What community are you in?
  
  Philly boy. Yous? Edit: I see I used "we" . That was meant to mimic the OP, not imply Im from NY. Second Edit: op did have "we" either, guess I was typing from a pretend NYer perspective.