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The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

1d ago

Think twice next time.

43 comments

That depends. How many boys does it bring to the yard?
- I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

False! It is disinformation I say. The picture is not showing a milkshake machine. This is a high speed cow spinner used for milk separation and cream production!

That is the largest wood lathe I have seen. Super fucking dangerous setup, as well. Maybe it's only spinning at single digit RPM and you can't tell.

This but unironically.

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.

Imperial Walker

I have literally never seen an unironic version of this meme so I can't even process it correctly

Witnesses at the scene reported "dozens" of boys coming to the yard, only for many to be flung back as far as a whole mile (1.6km) away upon coming into close range of the milkshake's rotational inertia.

Yes.

Princess Bubblegum taught me that this is how perfect cheese is made

And please stop killing ducks to make duck tape.
- And the baby clothes industry is s horrific tragedy no one seems to care about.
  
  Yeah? Think about baby oil!
  
  Have you seen babies? Those alien gremlins poop everywhere, it's not a tragedy, it's pest control!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted a milkshake, this is clearly a milkspin. Make it again or I'll be speaking to your manager.
- Yes sir, Mr. Bond.
  
  Aw, man. I didn't know I could order my martini spun.

Hahaha in reality the cows are treated perfectly well! They're only forcibly impregnated for their entire lives to facilitate a constant cycle of lactation and seperated from their children at birth. Perfectly happy cows! Your milkshake is worth it! :D
- Don't worry! Synthetic milk is right around the corner (within a couple of decades), soon we'll be able to save the cows. They'll get to retire to a farm somewhere and live happily ever after.
  
  Non-animal milks have been around for a long time.
  
  Synthetic milk already sort of exists. Perfect Day Foods uses some sort of fermentation process.
  
  The dairy and beef lobbies would like to have a word with you, if you'll please just step a little to the right?
- Have you asked them if theyre happy or assuming they hate it?
  
  Cows can cry. Did you even know that? When they bellow and cry actual tears for weeks or months after their children are stolen from them, we can be pretty fucking certain they are not happy about it.
  Cows are herd animals. Herd animals are more socially sophisticated than even we are. They feel very deeply. They experience empathy. Do you?
  
  I feel like we need to begin this conversation by establishing that I can't talk to cows

Milkshakes are just a byproduct of the bovine space training program

In nature and historically, cows are often spun, or thrown at high velocity. See the documentary "fetchez la vache" for example.
As long as it brings all the boys to the yard I see no issue. Damn right.
- Run away!!
- fetchez la vache
  A true scholar of history and the arts, I see.
  
  Of course. Everyone knows, if it's in french, it's classy and accurate.
- As well as the famous classical epic poem describing a similar-but-agentive event titled "Hey Diddle Diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle"

43 comments