work is easy

Fake: Anon has a friend and participates in social activities.
Gay: Anon comes out of the closet to his boss.
- I haven't had a good laugh like that in years. Don't know why I laughed so hard at this comment but thank you.
  
  Lol glad you enjoyed it. These fake/gay green text comments are probably well past being socially acceptable at this point, but I always get a kick out of them.

I once showed up 8 hours late for work. My boss wanted our team to have three eight hour shifts but he kept changing the start times and team members so much no one knew when anyone else was working unless they checked the schedule. When I showed up that day I realized I should have worked the previous shift, and another manager asked what I was still doing there. I picked up a clip board and told him I need to check some things. Basically I just stopped in front of various things, nodded slowly, then drew a picture. My boss saw me and said I was a shining example of what to do.
- All those hours playing Among us put to such excellent use.
  
  Then when the boss left he murdered the manager and self-reported it immediately, then told everyone he saw boss kill manager. Everyone believed him and boss got ejected.

I once had a micromanager that made it impossible to get anything done during a workday. So I started coming in on Saturday to catch up on all the work that kept getting interrupted. MFW he noticed the logs and my activity on the weekend and thanked me for putting in all the extra effort.

One of my bigger career regrets is not picking one I can do shitfaced. Fuck I can't even do it properly without my ADHD meds I be lookin at these dosages like
- It's like my dad always used to say: "The day I can't do my job drunk is the day I hand in my badge and gun."
  
  Protect (yours dads right to drink and drink) and serve (anyone who annoys his buzz tickets)

Now I have the image of their alarm going off the whole time and random people opening the closet to see where the sound is coming from, only to see OP sleeping in there.

I swearsies I've seen this green text before. In the comments was another green text from the perspective of one of his coworkers watching him come in drunk, then getting everyone else in on pranking him by leaving him in the closet.