I genuinely think more people need to take a step back and look at themselves, like really look at themselves, before they start shit-talking other people.
It's fine to not want to be an athlete, or to be bleeding-heart volunteer, but those who do put that effort in are naturally going to be the ones who get the most attention. That's life.
Unironically what I learned from DBT. "If you want people to be impressed with you, think up something really impressive that you could do and go do that."
No, this doesn't help. A specific person you care for can't be diminished into that general "attention" thing.
So you look at yourself more critically. Then something like what's described in the post happens, and then you still feel pain, but it's dull and you can't locate it, so to say, because in the universe you imagine after such advice you'll find plenty of reasons you are flawed and nobody should look at you.
And then after some time you understand that the pain is there because really everybody has flaws, "that other guy" included. It's just that you haven't been accepted and "that other guy" has been. Somehow your flaws were worse and your advantages not as significant as those of "that other guy".
And - everybody wants to be accepted, without being the best and the coolest. Just for being a human.
People do need these things, but it’s both. Part of stepping back and introspecting should be learning that you aren’t to everyone’s tastes no matter what you do. You could be an active volunteer athlete and charming as hell and get rejected because your life sounds exhausting to someone you like. That’s not bad, that’s life. Be who you want to be and accept that not everyone wants that person.
Anyone who says about another person, "I hope s/he gets abused so that I'm proven correct," is a gigantic piece of shit who will never find real love. And doesn't deserve to, until they get huge amounts of therapy and improve as a human.
My first date with my wife involved her explaining the plot of kingdom hearts to me over 2 hours and 3 bottles of wine.
I appreciate I'm very fortunate, but it does happen, and I would say gaming was basically both of our only interests at the time (besides weed for me, and doctoring for her, but we don't exactly overlap with those things!).
But you have to save those girls for when you need to spew toxic abusive shit at them for daring to be present in a space you feel you have ownership over. /S
Random normie girl is looking for partners interested in the same stuff she is. By chasing one you have nothing in common with, not only are you competing with all of the guys who share her interests and hobbies, but you're putting yourself at a huge disadvantage by actually not sharing her interests and hobbies.
The competition pool is the same. What changes is whether or not she might find you interesting in the first place.